The New Year
by poshsmit
Summary: On New Year's Eve, will Seth and Summer find a way to put the past away for a new start in 2004? COMPLETE. This is my first fanfic, please review!
1. What Could Have Been

"Summer? Wake up!"  
  
Summer Roberts groaned and blinked her eyes, then flinched at the sight of the bright California sunshine. "Ohmigod," she said, realizing what had happened. "How long have I been sleeping? Am I, like, crispy?" She held out one perfectly tanned arm and began to inspect it for any signs of redness.  
  
"Sum, you're fine." Marissa Cooper rolled her eyes as her friend began slather Kiehl's aloe lotion over her skin. "You told me you wanted to leave at 4:00 so you'd have time to make your appointment at the club." Marissa's voice caught a bit on the last few words. The last time she had been to the Newport Country Club was her infamous debutante ball.  
  
"That's right." Summer stood up from her lounge chair and grabbed Marissa's hand. "We don't want to be late!"  
  
"We?" Marissa looked incredulous. "Summer, you know I can't afford the spa anymore - and I don't really need to get my hair done for tonight anyway - I'm just hanging out with Ryan."  
  
"Look, Coop, I know that Chino doesn't care about your beach hair, but don't you want to give him a little thrill tonight?" Summer put her hand on her hips. "C'mon Coop! It's New Year's Eve!"  
  
Marissa bit down on her lip and smiled. "Alright," she agreed. "Thanks."  
  
"Whatever, Coop." Summer blushed a little. "Let's go!"  
  
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By the time 11:00 had rolled around, Summer was beginning to wonder why she'd bothered. She was at a party at Candace Merky's house, a girl who was infamous for her dad's money, her mom's surgery and her own cocaine habit. She watched Holly grind with some random Ken doll on the dance floor, while Candace let two water polo player spill vodka over her Versace dress. Summer took a tiny sip of her champagne and let her thoughts drift.  
  
Back to Seth Cohen.  
  
It had been a few weeks since he'd told her that he just wanted to be friends with her and Anna. Anna, Summer has noticed, seemed to be doing fine. She saw Anna with him around school, laughing and reading those comic books. She'd wondered about the one she'd caught Seth with at the Chrismukah party, and winced as she recalled her own Wonder Woman outfit. She thought of the kiss at Caleb Nichols' birthday party, their breakfast in T.J., the way he'd helped her when Marissa was in trouble, the way he smiled at her when he'd kissed her on Thanksgiving, the way he knew her, how he'd broken her heart without even realizing it.  
  
Before she could think about it, she grabbed her purse and ran out of the party. She stumbled on the sidewalk outside, and she reached down to take off her stilettos and kept running. She wasn't that far from the Cohen's house. She glanced at her tiny Gucci wristwatch. 11:22. She could make it by midnight. 


	2. Rethinking the Past

Seth Cohen reached over for his iPod and hit the play button. Bright Eyes, again. Somehow, "The Calendar Hung Itself Again" was oddly appropriate right now. Awesome way to ring in 2004, he thought. Stuck in the poolhouse while Ryan and Marissa make out in the bathroom and Aunt Hailey throws a rager that's better than any party I'll have host in my life.  
  
The music was only depressing him more, so he pulled off the headphones and threw himself on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. He was lonely. Ryan was always with Marissa, and Anna was in Pittsburgh visiting friends. Actually, he was kind of glad that she was out of town for New Year's, even though she was the only person who would spend time with him.  
  
After the Chrismukah disaster, their friendship had bounced back. He liked Anna - but after hanging out with her almost exclusively in Ryan's Marissa- haze absence, he was beginning to realize that his feelings for her weren't as strong as he had once thought. He liked Anna, no doubt, but it was more because she made him feel comfortable. But the sparks, the electrical- shock sparks, just weren't there.  
  
Not like they were there with Summer.  
  
Summer.  
  
Seth sighed and buried his head in the couch cushions. He couldn't stop thinking about her. He'd caught her looking at him once, on the Monday after his grandfather's party. But as soon as their eyes had met, she'd turned away, melting back into her old crowd and returning to the throne of queen of the Harbor social scene.  
  
Seth twisted his body off the couch and strode over to the door of the poolhouse. Still locked. He peered out of the curtains, but couldn't hear anyone. "Hey," he called as he rapped on the door. "Hey!" He was beginning to get angry, and he pounded on the glass with his fist. Suddenly, the need to get of was overpowering. He grabbed the sheet off Ryan's bed, wrapped it around his fist and punched through the glass. He grabbed the door handle and pulled, breathing in the cool fresh air. He pulled the sheet off his hand and winced at a few small cuts. Nothing serious. Without thinking, he took off running around to the front of his house. As he reached the front, he saw a familiar silhouette running up his driveway, a figure he never would have recognized if he hadn't been watching her for years.  
  
Summer. 


	3. Confession

Summer stopped running as soon as she saw him. Her breath was ragged from the run and she tried to take a deep breath, but she felt her throat catch at the sight of him. His dark hair was messier than usual and his cheeks were flushed.  
  
"Summer?" His voice was hesitant and unsure. Seth looked her over. Summer Roberts was standing before him, not moving as he slowly inched toward her. Her hair fell around her bare shoulders in loose waves, and her midnight blue strapless dress was bunched up in one hand. Her feet were bare, and he noticed that she was clutching a pair of jeweled heels in the other hand. Her cheeks were bright and her dark eyes were glossy, as though she were on the verge of crying. This had to be a dream, he told himself. The Summer Roberts he knew would never cry in front of him.  
  
She spoke.  
  
"Seth-" And she was in his arms. She dropped her shoes to the ground and wrapped her small body around his. He smoothed her hair and rested his chin on top of her head as he felt her chest take in air in deep, hungry gulps. As her breathing slowed to an even pace, she took a step back and met his eyes.  
  
"Is something wrong?" He looked worried. "Are you hurt? Did something happen-"  
  
"Nothing's wrong." Summer paused and looked down. "I don't know why I'm here, I mean, I was at Candace's and I was watching them, you know, and I remembered how I used to fit in there. I mean, I still fit in, no one's like, shunned me. But it just doesn't seem right." She glanced up at him. He was watching her carefully, fidgeting with his hands. She continued.  
  
"But the thing is, I feel different. And Marissa's not there anymore, she's always with Chino now, and no one really knows me." Summer paused and willed herself to stay in control. She would not cry.  
  
"And then I thought about you. The way you watched me for so long, which would be creepy if it were anyone else, but it's not like that with you, it's like you were taking care of me, knowing me and learning about me, the real me, without me needing to tell you everything. And at Caleb's party, when I kissed you?" She looked up at him. Seth's face had softened and he was listening carefully. She wanted to pick up her shoes and run again, back to her guarded mansion, where the tall walls kept everyone out. But she lifted her chin and looked him right in the eyes.  
  
"That meant something to me. All of it, because you- you mean something to me." A tear escaped from her eyes and trickled down her cheek. "I miss you, Seth. I-" She took a breath and forced herself to admit it, not just to him, but to herself. "I need you." 


	4. Escape from the Ordinary

"Wow." Seth's eyes darted to the ground and then back to Summer's face. "Wow."  
  
"Yeah." Summer smiled slightly. "I know, I wasn't expecting it either, and I know you just wanted to be friends, but I-"  
  
"Oh, no," Seth stammered. "I mean, yes, I do want to be friends. I mean, I always want to be friends with you, it's just that I don't want to be your friend like I'm friends with Anna, I mean, Anna's great, she's Anna, and we have a lot in common, you know, the comic books and the music and the sailing and-"  
  
"Then let's go." Summer interjected. "Sailing, I mean."  
  
"Anime and-" Seth realized that Summer has spoken. "You want to go sailing? With me? Now?"  
  
"Can we?" Summer tilted her head to one side. Suddenly the front lawn of the Cohen's house felt too exposed, too open.  
  
Seth glanced back at his house. Aunt Hailey was going to notice his absence soon, and he really didn't want to get locked in the poolhouse again. "Sure," he agreed. He motioned for Summer to follow him, and they slipped around the side of the house to the Range Rover.  
  
Seth held open the passenger door for Summer, and her body brushed against his as she slipped into the car. Yup, he thought, same chemistry. Same full-body-tingling-makes-me-feel-alive-electricity as always. When she had hugged him before, he had been worried about her - worried that her parents had left her alone again, worried that one of those chest-shaving water polo jerks had tried something, worried about anything and everything that had the potential to hurt her.  
  
He gently shut her door and walked to the driver's side. Through the window he saw Summer leaning over to open the door for him. She unlocked the door and pushed on the passenger handle, slipping forward a little as their eyes met. She blushed, recognizing how ridiculous she must look, and straightened up.  
  
"Thanks," he murmured.  
  
"No problem." Summer pushed a lock of hair behind her ear and peered out the window at the party. "Are you sure you don't mind going to the docks? Seems like you're having a big party here."  
  
"Um, not quite," Seth turned the key in the ignition slowly and began to back down the driveway. "It's my Aunt Hailey's party. A party by Seth Cohen would pretty much be me, Ryan, Marissa and maybe a drop-in appearance by Captain Oats."  
  
"And me." Summer touched his arm gently. "I mean, if you wanted me to be there."  
  
"Summer," Seth thanked Jesus and Moses for the red light on Glendale Lane. He turned to look at her. "There has never been, nor will there ever be, a time when I wouldn't want you with me."  
  
They held each other's gaze for a moment. The light turned green, and Seth gave a silent thanks to his father for insisting that they live near the waterfront as he tried to focus on driving. Seth drove down the two remaining blocks, becoming more and more aware of Summer's presence by the second. She needed him. She had said it. This was real - it was finally happening the way he had always imagined. 


	5. Fireworks

He pulled up next to the docks and turned off the car. Summer bolted out of the car and ran down the sloping grass to the waterfront. The wooden dock felt good on her bare feet and she lightly scampered across the dock to the lone sailboat. She stopped.  
  
"Summer's Breeze?" She looked at Seth, who was a few steps behind her. The look on his face told her that the name wasn't a coincidence. He looked a little embarrassed, and she finally understood how deep his feelings were. This wasn't a silly crush, this was real and exciting and a little scary.  
  
Seth turned away from her and stepped on board. He reached out his hand, and her body tingled as she placed her hand in his and allowed herself to be gently pulled onboard.  
  
They stood, looking at each other. They were only a few inches apart. Summer could feel the ocean gently rocking the boat beneath her and it felt so right. Goosebumps appeared on her skin and she felt Seth shiver too, and she understood that they were finally thinking the same thing at the same time. Time. She looked at her wristwatch again. 11:56.  
  
"You have somewhere else to be?" Seth prodded her gently, but she caught the anxiousness in his voice.  
  
"There's less than four minutes left until the new year," Summer moved toward him. "I was thinking maybe we could work through sixteen years of angst before 2004 begins." She smiled. He was watching her carefully again, and she saw how she looked in his eyes. She caught her loose hair in one hand and pulled it behind her, so her neck, collarbone and shoulders were naked. She placed both hands on his chest and looked up at him.  
  
"Four minutes?" Seth smiled broadly, and his dimples flashed across his face. "I can, you know, speak at the speed of light, because with all of my practice with rambling, I've picked up several tricks, make it faster, point across, comprehensive, a-ha moment conveyed in a timely matter. So, yes, three minutes left. I'm crazy about you - that's really the best way to say it, I think, because you do drive me a little crazy sometimes, I'm not sure what you're thinking or what your intentions are, even now, here we are, on my boat, well, I guess it's kind of your boat too, and you're here, and you're not wearing shoes, and two minutes to go, so, and all these years, it's only been you, Summer. Anna and I," he watched as Summer's face dropped a bit, and he tried to speak as quickly as he could to bring that smile back to her face. "Anna's great and she knows me and she's a lot like me and she gets the Captain Oats thing and it's easy to talk to her and we have a lot in common."  
  
In the distance, people began to count down the last ten seconds of 2003. Summer took a step back from Seth, confused and vulnerable. Why was he saying so many nice things about Anna? Was she completely wrong? Had she missed her chance?  
  
Seth caught her wrist and pulled her to him, slipping an arm around her waist. He bent his head down to hers and looked into her dark eyes.  
  
"The thing is," he whispered. "She's not you." She felt herself growing weak and getting stronger simultaneously, and they bridged the distance between them. Seth kissed her gently, a question, soft and slow. She wrapped her arms around his neck, entwining her fingers in his hair, and answered yes.  
  
Fireworks exploded above them and between them, and 2004 swept in as the ocean waves rolled gently beneath their feet. 


	6. Sweet Surrender

When their lips broke apart, Seth pulled back for a moment and cupped Summer's face in his hands.  
  
"Hey." He smiled at her, and she felt a grin flash across her face. All of a sudden, Summer felt like the sixteen-year-old she was - naïve and silly and incredibly happy.  
  
"Hey." She reached up to him again and curled her fingers through his hair. His arms wrapped around her tightly, and her feet left the ground as he lifted her up and spun her around as they kissed again, this time with a frenetic urgency. She marveled at the way he increased the pressure against her lips, the confidence she felt radiating through his hands, the way he had raised her up to meet him, strong and sure. She buried her face in his shoulder and he spun her around again as she playfully kicked her feet in the air.  
  
"Spin me again!" Summer cried gleefully. "Again!"  
  
"Ready?" Seth laughed. She looked at him and kissed him quickly.  
  
"Go!"  
  
This time, Summer leaned her head back and stretched her arms out. The dark sky swirled above her, and the stars twinkled. If she looked hard enough, she could almost see the remains of the midnight fireworks lingering above. This was 2004, she told herself. It was new and bright and fun, and she was going be different.  
  
He slid her body down against his. She surveyed the sailboat and then tilted her head. "Come here." She led him over to one of the benches that formed a small U-shaped couch at the front of the boat. She laid down on the soft padded surface, and giggled as she saw the expression on Seth's face.  
  
"What?" She saw his lips stammer a bit. "Cohen," she rolled her eyes, "I'm not that easy, jeez, I just thought that it might be a little more comfortable, given my Jimmy Choo-less induced shortness."  
  
"No, I wasn't thinking about- well, I kind of was, it's just." Seth let his eyes travel over Summer, stretched out before him. "You're so beautiful, you know that?"  
  
Her voice caught a little before she responded, thoughtfully. "I never really think of myself as beautiful - don't get me wrong," she added quickly as she realized that Seth was about to protest. "Guys tell me all the time that I'm 'hot', but beautiful is for girls like Marissa - sweet, ballerina-type girls. I'm short and curvy and, let's face it, kind of a bitch."  
  
"Hey there," Seth sat down by Summer's waist and leaned against the curves of her body. "That's my girl you're taking about there, and I happen to think that you are petite, feminine and filled with moxie." Summer laughed a little and playfully pushed him. He caught her hand in his and laced their fingers together. "And might I add," he whispered, "breathtakingly beautiful."  
  
His thumb gently traced a path down to her wrist, making small circles against her skin. She pulled him to her and felt the weight of his body against her. He felt differently than the other guys she'd kissed, his body was comforting, not insistent.  
  
Making out with Seth Cohen was different than she'd thought it would be, and in a very good way. He was more muscled than one would expect; he was just tall and lean instead of stocky and bulky. And his kisses. wow. She wondered if he had practiced with Anna. He seemed so confident and sure, and he whispered to her as they took quick breaths together. He moaned as she kissed him, complimenting her as he traced her lips with his finger, and then raise her arms over her head to grasp her wrists with one hand, holding her as he marveled at the expanse of bare skin that her strapless dress allowed. Seth swept a curl of chestnut hair away from Summer's face and kissed her again, deeply. He kissed a path across her cheek and down her neck, pausing when she let out a small moan. He mentally photographed the exact location of the "moaning mark" and kissed it again, lightly.  
  
"I'm so lucky," he thought to himself, as he kissed her again, taking in every sensation - the way she felt, smelled, tasted.  
  
"No," Summer said aloud, and he stopped, looking at her questioningly.  
  
"Oh - jeez, sorry, do you want to stop?"  
  
"No!" Summer blurted out quickly. She blushed. "I meant, no. no, I'm the lucky one."  
  
She pulled him towards her, and he resolved to stop thinking and just be with her. 2004 was looking pretty damn good, he considered. And the world faded into a haze of lips and hands and whispers. 


	7. A New Day

Summer blinked and shielded her eyes from the sun, turning sideways to avoid the bright glare. She snuggled next to the other person on the bench as she tried to close her eyes again, feeling arms go around her to pull her close.  
  
Wait.  
  
Summer slowly pushed herself back and forced herself to sit up. She slowly examined the boy who had been sleeping next to her.  
  
Ohmigod. Seth Cohen.  
  
Summer turned her wristwatch and read the time. 11:22.  
  
"Seth!" She kneeled next to him and shook his shoulders gently. "Seth, we have to go - it's almost noon!"  
  
"Mmmm," Seth stretch out his long body, reaching his arms out and pulling her down on top of his again. It was hard to believe that she was almost more beautiful in the morning, rumpled and disheveled. Seth figured that there weren't many people who had seen Summer when she wasn't perfectly pulled together, and he was finally one of them.  
  
"Seth," Summer rolled her eyes and tried to stand up again. Seth pulled her tighter. "Seth, seriously, we needed to leave like, ten hours ago."  
  
"Ohmigod!" Seth tried not to laugh while doing his Summer imitation. "Are we like, totally late for like, the big party at Ken and Barbie's house?"  
  
"No, I'm late for the party, you're late for the Comic Dork Convention," she retorted.  
  
"Ah, yes, the Comic Dork Convention," Seth pondered. "With such a clever name, how could I ever have forgotten?"  
  
"Shut up," Summer whispered.  
  
"Done and done." Seth pulled her close and kissed her again. He felt her body relax in his arms, and she felt herself slipping away again, and if she would just let herself.  
  
Summer forced her eyes open and stood up quickly. Before Seth could protest, she hopped off the boat and was half-sprinting toward the car.  
  
"Bethcha can't catch me!" Seth groaned and pulled himself up. Summer was already halfway to the Range Rover, her long blue skirt gathered in one hand. She spun around to stick out her tongue at him, laughing, and he was distracted by sight of her smooth, tan legs, half-hidden by the fabric of her skirt. He pulled himself up and took off towards her. She yelped and started running full speed towards the car.  
  
"I win!" Summer grabbed the door handle and hung on as Seth arrived just a few steps behind her. "You know," she regarded him; "it's really not fair. Your legs are like, twice as long as mine. So since I was still able to beat you," she poked him in the chest gently, "I figured that I should get some sort of reward."  
  
"Oh, really?" Seth smiled. "How convenient for you, adding a prize after you've won the competition." "I thought so." Summer leaned against the car door. "So that means you'll be coming to Julie Cooper's New Year's brunch with me, in about-" she glanced down at her watch again, "27 minutes."  
  
"I don't think so." Seth unlocked the car door and motioned for Summer to get in. She looked up at him and pouted. "Listen," he began as he walked around to the driver's side. "I know that you're like, Miss Newport Junior, but this is my one opportunity to skip a party thrown by Grandpa Caleb and Marissa's mom, which to be honest, I still think is a little ew- worthy. My parents are out of town, and I'm going to a party hosted by my Grandpa? I don't think so." Seth slid in to the car and shut the door. Summer was still watching him with wide eyes and a sexy little pout. Who did he think he was kidding?  
  
"Fine," he gave in. "I'll go. But I am not wearing a suit."  
  
"Whatever, Cohen." Summer clapped her hands and kissed his cheek. "Hurry up, Grandma! I need to get home and change!"  
  
Seth shook his held and turned the key in the ignition as they took off towards Summer's house.  
  
***A/N: Hi guys! Thanks for the reviews! I know that the chapters are short, but I was going for more of a serial-feel. This started off as a short piece, but I'm starting to like it and am planning out a real storyline for these two. Hope you all enjoy it! 


	8. ChChChanges?

Seth hurriedly rifled through his dresser drawers. He had promised Summer that he'd pick her up again in thirty minutes, which, counting the drive, left him with about fifteen minutes to get ready. Super. He picked up Captain Oats and solemnly looked at the horse.  
  
"Women, my friend, women. Do you understand why someone who looks like Summer thinks she needs makeup?" Captain Oats stared at him. "What's that, buddy? Neigh?" Seth heard someone cough behind him, and he turned to see Ryan standing in his doorway, arms crossed and a half smile on his face. Seth suddenly realized that his was standing in the middle of his room talking to a plastic horse.  
  
"Um, hey, just, you know getting some fashion advice from the Captain, because he's such a stud at the stable and all." Seth set Captain Oats down and resumed searching through his collection of vintage tees.  
  
"Where are you going?" Ryan entered the room and sat down on Seth's bed, amused by Seth's franticness.  
  
"Apparently," Seth turned around to face Ryan and threw his arms out to his sides, "Miss Summer Roberts has realized the handsome wittiness that is Seth Cohen, and has asked me to escort her to Julie Cooper's New Year's 'I got my claws into Caleb Nichol' brunch. You're going, right? With Marissa?"  
  
"Yup." Ryan observed Seth. After a few months, Ryan had gotten used to seeing Seth's nervous energy, but he'd never seen him quite this keyed-up before.  
  
"'Yup?'" Seth shook his head. "Look, I know that the ladies dig the strong, silent type, but I need some more communication, you know? Because I'm a talker. I love to make sentences, and thus conduct conversations with people who may or may not be interested in hearing me speak."  
  
Ryan looked down at the floor and scuffed the carpet with his toe. "Look, I'm sorry. It's just." Seth waited as Ryan took a long pause. "Things aren't going so great with Marissa. She's having some serious problems."  
  
"Whoa." Seth sat down next to Ryan. "Are you two ok?"  
  
"I don't know." Ryan stood up. That was enough sharing for now. As he headed out the door, he called over his shoulder. "If you're insistent on wearing a vintage tee, wear that gravity one. But I'd go for the suit, man. You are with Miss Newport now."  
  
"Shut up!" Seth laughed as he chucked a rejected shirt at the closing door. He smiled to himself. "I am with Summer now." He walked over to his closet and pulled out the gravity tee and a conservative, Kirsten- purchased suit. He looked at each one thoughtfully, and changed his clothes quickly. 


	9. A Look Inside

"La-da-di-da!" The doorbell chimes vibrated through the empty Roberts house. Summer ran down the stairs and unlocked the front door. Seth stood in the doorway and peered into the house. Summer had already scurried away and was halfway up the stairs again.  
  
"Well, thanks for such a lingering glance, my dear," Seth began to climb the stairs to follow her. "I know; it's difficult to resist the allure of such attractiveness."  
  
"Summer?" Seth peered into the first door of the corridor. The bedroom was painted a deep violet with a white ceiling. Tiny silver stars had been painted on the ceiling, and Seth noticed that this room had maple hardwood floors, unlike the rest of the carpeted house. A large bed was nestled in one corner, neatly made with white blankets and a purple quilt folded at the edge of the bed. He moved across the room to the opposite wall, which featured three doorways. Summer called out from the middle door and waved her hand behind her.  
  
"I'm in here - just hang on two seconds, I swear, I know that Prada bag is in here," she said. "Feel free to give yourself a tour."  
  
Seth peeked his head into the room to the right of the voice. The bathroom was sparse and surprisingly clean. The décor was white with chrome, and the large vanity boasted organized shelves of every product to grace the pages of the latest beauty magazines. He crossed back over to the other door, and turned the handle of the wooden door.  
  
The room was tiny and filled with books. One entire wall was a large bookshelf, filled with a mish-mash of hardcovers. Seth stepped inside the room and examined the titles. Anna Karenina, Macbeth, The Brothers Karamazov, J.R. - the shelves were chock-full of every classic, and some titles that Seth had never heard of. He turned around and scanned the rest of the room. Sheets of paper were pinned up on the remaining walls, interspersed with black-and-white photographs. Another stack of books sat atop a large wooden filing cabinet - titles like Managing Funds In An Uncertain Climate, The Risks of Blue-Chip Stocks, Business and Banking, Microeconomics in Corporate America. A large desk was pushed up against a circular window, the surface cluttered with papers, pens, notes and photographs. A large box of Crane's resume paper set off to the center, which several sheets of postage stamps scattered underneath. Infinite Jest, a mammoth 1,079 page novel by David Foster Wallace, was turned upside down in the middle of the desk, with a Post-It note on the cover. "Dependence/excess/addiction?" was scrawled across the yellow paper in Summer's handwriting. He bent over the desk and examined the row of leather-bound notebooks that were propped up with silver bookends.  
  
"Hey." Seth jolted at the sound of Summer's voice. She looked a little surprised to see him standing at the desk, and he immediately wondered if he'd done something wrong.  
  
"Oh, sorry, I was just - you told me to look around and. I'm sorry." He strode across the room and moved back into the main bedroom.  
  
"It's no big deal." Summer looked down. "It's just my little study; I'm kind of private about it." She looked up at him and smiled at his disbelief. "Yes, I said my study." Her gaze traveled down to his t-shirt. "'Gravity,'" she read, "'It's not just a good idea, it's the law.'" She looked back at his face, then down to the slogan on the shirt again. "Cohen," she moaned and tilted her head to one side. "What am I going to do with you?"  
  
"What?" he asked, a little self-consciously. He had almost worn the suit, but had decided to wear the shirt and a pair of lightweight corduroy pants instead. He felt more comfortable in these clothes, and hoped that Summer didn't make a fuss about it.  
  
"Nothing." Summer read it again and laughed. "It's pretty clever." Seth breathed out a little sigh, which Summer noticed. "You know, Cohen," she wrapped her arms around his waist, "I'm not completely shallow."  
  
"I know." Seth nuzzled her neck. "But I must say, from a completely shallow standpoint-" He stepped back and held Summer at arms-distance. She was wearing a creamy chiffon dress with thin straps and a wide scooped neckline. The dress skimmed her curves, fitted without being tight, but showing off her pretty spectacular shape. Sandals made of woven cream- colored ribbon added a few inches to her height, and she held a tiny pearl- encrusted clutch (the Prada one, no doubt) in one hand.  
  
"See," Seth remarked, trying not to grin as he surveyed her. "There's really no need for me to dress up, because everyone there will be looking at you."  
  
Summer blushed. She was used to compliments, but Seth's were different, mainly because she knew he really meant them, and that the purpose of his remarks was to make her feel good, not to get something for himself.  
  
"Just one more thing." She picked up a strand of tiny pearls and draped it around her neck, holding the clasp with one hand while sweeping her hair up with the other. "Would you?"  
  
Seth moved behind her, brushing the fingers gently as he took the ends of the necklace into his own hands. He joined the clasp together in one try. He let his hands travel down her back, barely touching her as he grazed her skin softly.  
  
She turned around to face her, and they stood together wordlessly. Summer could feel her skin buzzing, and her breath seized up in her throat. Here was a boy she had ignored for most of her life, and now. Now she couldn't get enough of him. His face was so familiar, and yet, in this moment, she felt like she was really seeing him for the very first time.  
  
"The party," she remembered, and smiled with Seth. "We need to go now, or I won't be able to keep my hands off you," she flirted.  
  
"What a shame," Seth muttered.  
  
Summer grinned up at him again. "C'mon, sugar!" She grabbed her purse and headed out of the room, down the stairs towards the front entrance.  
  
"Sugar?" Seth looked down at her from the top of the staircase.  
  
"It's 'sugar' or 'comic dork'" Summer teased. "Which one do you prefer?"  
  
"Well, I am pretty sweet." Seth bounded down the stairs and opened the front door. "Sugar it is."  
  
"You are so ridiculous," Summer stepped out the door and made her way over to the Range Rover.  
  
"I believe that is, 'You are so ridiculous, sugar.'" Seth corrected her, as he started the car and they pulled out of the driveway.  
  
"Whatever, Cohen."  
  
"Whatever, sugar." 


	10. Never Suspected

Seth pulled the Range Rover up to Caleb Nichol's compound. Valets sprang into action, holding the door open for Summer and taking the keys for him.  
  
"We are so, so late," Summer worried as they climbed the stairs to the front door. Seth took her arm and looped it through his own.  
  
"Better late than never, don't you think?" He spoke softly, making sure that she understood the double meaning of his words.  
  
"I guess I am worth waiting for," she flirted. She gave his arm a quick squeeze. "And so were you."  
  
The doors to the mansion spun open for them as if commanded by an invisible master. Since this was Caleb Nichol's house, that scenario wasn't entirely impossible. The party itself was pretty extraordinary, and Seth usually wasn't impressed by Newport parties. Julie Cooper had obviously gone for an ocean theme, and it was incredible. Layers of tonal blue tulle criss- crossed the ceiling, with strands of crystals reflecting light around the room. Bowls of fish were everywhere, and Seth noticed that the waiters were passed out appetizers of quiche shaped like starfish. He took Summer's hand as Caleb Nichol approached them with a man Seth didn't recognize.  
  
"Seth!" His grandfather slapped him on the back and glanced at Summer with obvious approval on his face. "Who is this darling girl?"  
  
Summer blushed and shook Caleb's hand. "Summer Roberts," she introduced herself. "We met briefly on Thanksgiving."  
  
A look of recognition flicked across Caleb's face, and then his eyes widened a bit as he remembered Seth's little debacle. "Ah," he chuckled. "Summer Roberts? Is your father Darren?"  
  
"That's right." Summer glanced down for a moment, and Seth jumped in. He extended his hand to that man standing next to his grandfather.  
  
"Oh, I apologize." Caleb turned to the man. "Summer Roberts, Seth Cohen, this is Michael Anderson. Michael is-"  
  
"Vice-president of investments at Barrett Financial Enterprises." Summer burst in. She blushed. "I'm sorry for interrupting, but, wow. Your work on the Atmason deal is legendary."  
  
Caleb looked at her, questioning. "Did your father tell you about that?"  
  
"No, he's not much for banking." Summer's eyes brightened. "I'm actually quite interested in how you view the possibilities for controlled subsidies in the wake of the Pendleton Tower real estate deal."  
  
Seth, Caleb and Michael all looked at her, slightly stunned. Michael smiled and began to speak, as Caleb excused himself and pulled Seth a few steps away.  
  
"She is incredible!" Caleb exclaimed. "Do you know how rare it is for someone to actually have the kind of vision where they can see that Pendleton will affect controlled subsidies?"  
  
Seth shook his head. He didn't even know what Pendleton was, or, for that matter, what controlled subsidies were.  
  
"You know," Caleb looked thoughtful, "She reminds me of your mother." He shook his head, and his face set back into the tough businessman that Seth recognized. "Excuse me, I have some guests to greet."  
  
As Caleb moved into the crowd of people, Seth watched Summer speak with Michael Anderson. With all his years of watching people, Seth could tell that Michael was impressed. Where had she learned so much about the financial world? Seth thought back to the study he had discovered earlier and the stack of banking books piled on the filing cabinet. He recalled the books and the novel that was open on the desk. Was it possible that there were two new sides to Summer? The banking Summer and the literary Summer?  
  
Summer bounded back over to Seth. "I can't believe I just met Michael Anderson!" she exclaimed. "How cool is that?"  
  
"Super cool," Seth laughed. "Is that the kind of thing you work on in your study?"  
  
He'd obviously touched on a sensitive subject, because Summer visibly recoiled. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I won't mention it again." He raised his voice a little. "C'mon, let's find Ryan and Marissa - I heard that there's a 'Young Adults' area outside."  
  
Summer smiled at him and followed him out to the pool. She knew that she'd have to explain the study later, but something was holding her back. She just needed time, she told herself.  
  
Outside, Summer spotted Marissa dancing wildly. She turned to Seth. "I think there might be something wrong with Marissa." The two looked over at Marissa. She was moving erratically, swaying from side to side. "I'm going to go check on her, ok?" Summer kissed him quickly and hurried over to her friend. Seth began to scan the crowd for Ryan, and paused when his eyes met hers.  
  
Anna. 


	11. A New Understanding

Seth swallowed. So much had happened in the past twelve hours. He couldn't read the expression on Anna's face, nor could he tell if she had seen the kiss that he and Summer had shared only moments before. He shoved his hands into his pockets and began to tap on the floor with his foot. "Um, Anna, hey there. Hope you're having a good New Year's. So, you're not going to believe this, I feel like a pretty big jerk, but-"  
  
"But you're crazy about Summer and the two of you are together?" Anna looked at him expectantly. Her face seemed friendly and open, and Seth relaxed.  
  
"I'm so sorry - I know I said I just wanted to be friends with both you both, and I hope that you'll still have me as a friend, but I can't help the way that I feel about Summer. I hope you understand," he said, talking her hands in his, "because I think that you are an incredible girl, and I really want to be a part of your life."  
  
Anna cracked a small grin. "Well, it does sting a bit," she responded. "You know, my love life is anathema - a curse apparently has followed me across the country!" She laughed and looked up. Seth's face showed his obvious concern. "Seth," she bit down on her lip and accepted the inevitable. "I can't say that I'm surprised - it's obvious that you have stronger feelings for Summer than you ever did for me. I get it, and I'm ok. I really want you to be happy."  
  
Seth felt like a huge weight had been lifted from him. A smile broke across his face, and Anna smiled as well.  
  
"Seth!" Seth looked up to see Summer approaching, a panicked look furrowing her features. She stopped when she saw Anna standing there. "Anna - hi."  
  
"Hi, Summer." Anna offered a small smile. "Seth told me about you two. I'm really glad for you both."  
  
Summer looked surprised. "Oh- oh, thank you. That's really nice. Seriously," she smiled, "Thank you. Listen," Summer shook her head slightly and a look of worry returned to her face. "This is like, the worst timing ever, but there's something seriously wrong with Marissa. We need to get her out of her before anyone notices," she pleaded.  
  
"Can I help?" Anna offered. Summer turned and nodded.  
  
"Oh, yeah, sure - thanks," Summer and Anna headed off towards a corridor as Seth went to find Ryan.  
  
"I'm really sorry about all of this," Summer's words startled Anna as they moved quickly through the party. "Lately, it seems like everything has been so melodramatic." Her voice dropped a few notches, and Anna strained to hear her over the noise of the party. "I just wish it could be easy again."  
  
"I know exactly what you mean." Anna hurried to catch up to Summer. "This growing up thing - it's kind of a pain."  
  
The two girls exchanged wry smiles as they approached the bathroom door. Summer knocked gently. "Marissa?" No one answered. "Marissa, are you in there?"  
  
Anna pulled open Summer's purse and began rifling though the contents. Summer began to protest, but Anna shot her a look and Summer quieted, still confused but understanding that Anna was trying to help. Anna pulled out Summer's platinum Visa and kneeled in front of the door. She slid it slowly between the crease of the doorframe and the door itself. Summer heard a soft click, and Anna pushed the door open.  
  
"Oh god, Marissa," Summer ran to her friend. Marissa was limp against a wall.  
  
"Hey, it's Sum!" Marissa slurred her words and tipped over to one side. Summer propped her up, holding on to her tightly.  
  
"Anna, please try to find the boys," Summer's voice wavered a bit, but she stayed strong.  
  
Anna nodded and moved back over to the party before Summer called her name.  
  
"Anna?" Summer looked into her eyes. "Thank you."  
  
Anna smiled and turned back into the whirl of the party. 


	12. The Groundwork and the Breakdown

Summer sat on the cold Mexican tiles that lined the bathroom floor, blabbing about the new shoe collection at Neiman Marcus while desperately trying to keep Marissa awake. She was scared for her friend - after Tijuana, Summer had suspected that Marissa hadn't really gotten back to who she was before - she'd just gotten better at covering up her problems.  
  
Seth, Ryan and Anna swept into the room, clicking the bathroom door closed behind him. Ryan knelt down and took Marissa in his arms.  
  
"Hey you," Ryan spoke softly as he swept hair away from Marissa's eyes. She gazed up at him, her eyes unnaturally glassy.  
  
"Let's dance," Marissa breathed, and then, as though the idea had taken root in her mind, she struggled free of Ryan's grasp. "Let's dance! Because I feel so good!" Marissa was giggling now, and her laughter bounced off the walls of the bathroom and echoed at the other four teenagers were silent.  
  
"Marissa, you've got to go home," Ryan spoke steadily.  
  
"No!" Marissa pouted and swung her hair. "I want to dance and say 'Happy New Year!'"  
  
"The party's over," Ryan lied. "There no more dancing."  
  
"No more dancing?" Marissa heaved a sigh and slumped toward him. "Okay. Let's go." Her eyes closed and she began to tip over. Ryan swept her up into his arms.  
  
"Seth," Ryan spoke urgently, "we've got to get her out of here without anyone noticing. Is there a back exit or something?"  
  
Seth scanned his mind - fortunately, he'd done a good deal of hiding in this place and knew several little-used hallways.  
  
"We're going to have to go out the front," he explained, "but the hallways will take us right to the front door - we'll just need to swing out into the main room and then jet out as quickly as possible. C'mon."  
  
Seth, Summer and Anna pulled open the door. Fortunately, the crowd had dissipated outside, and Seth motioned for them to follow him. Ryan trailed, his arms wrapped tightly around Marissa while she walked clumsily.  
  
Seth led them through a maze of hallways quickly. Portions of the house were darker than others, and Anna noticed that here Seth reached out for Summer's hand. Anna took a breath, and as she let it out she tried to expel any romantic expectation she might have had for herself and Seth. Really, she figured, it was for the best. Even if he had picked her, he always would have wondered about Summer - and even though she cared for Seth Cohen, she wasn't willing to be his second choice when she might be someone else's first.  
  
"Alright," Seth paused at the end of a hallway. "Here's where we bring out the double-oh-seven maneuvers. Summer and Anna and I will step out first in a line to make a little barrier, you know, prevent the crowd from ruining the mission. Ryan, you and Marissa will slip behind us and make your way out the doors. I'm sure they'll be opened for you by one of my grandpa's minions, so you should be able to get out quickly." Seth glanced at his watch. "Ready, ladies?"  
  
Seth, Summer and Anna moved out into the main room. Seth was right next to the door, and Ryan pulled Marissa out with him. She was barely coherent now. Fortunately, Caleb Nichol's staff was familiar with drunken houseguests, and they moved quickly, helping Ryan take Marissa down the stairs. Seth, Summer and Anna hurried behind them. The valets pulled Seth and Anna's cars up to the front. Anna motioned for Ryan to lay Marissa down in her backseat, and Ryan slid in with her.  
  
"Meet us at Marissa's dad's apartment," Ryan called as Seth and Summer climbed into the Range Rover.  
  
The five teenagers drove off from the party. Inside the Range Rover, Seth reached out for Summer's hand. He entwined his dingers with hers, sweeping his thumb inside their clasped hands to sketch circles on her palm. And despite her worries for Marissa, Summer relaxed a bit and leaned against him, the soft fabric of his shirt warm against her cheek. 


	13. Not Again

The two cars pulled up to Jimmy Cooper's apartment building. Summer knew that Marissa would kill her for doing this, but she ran to the intercom, hoping that Mr. Cooper was home. Despite his troubles, he was a pretty good dad, and Marissa needed help.  
  
"Hello?" Jimmy's discombobulated voice crackled out of the speakers.  
  
"Mr. Cooper? It's me, Summer. I'm-" she hesitated, not knowing what to say. "I'm outside with Marissa."  
  
The voice box went silent, and Summer saw Mr. Cooper push his door open, running toward the four teenagers and his daughter. Marissa was awake now and was standing upright, but her face was red and her eyes glittered.  
  
"Sweetie," Mr. Cooper's concern was evident. He wanted to yell at Marissa and he turned to her friends, wanting to lash out, but all he saw was a group of scared teenagers, looking younger than they usually did as they watched Marissa quietly.  
  
The group made their way into Jimmy's apartment. Mr. Cooper laid Marissa down on a couch in the front room as the four stood nervously, watching each breath. Summer was pale, and she trembled in her thin white dress. Seth wrapped his arms around her and gently rubbed her shoulders. Anna crossed her arms and wrapped them tightly around herself. Ryan noticed and hesitantly opened his arms to hug her as Mr. Cooper tended to Marissa. Anna and Ryan hugged awkwardly at first as Ryan looked at her carefully.  
  
"Thanks for helping." Ryan spoke so softly that Anna had to strain to hear him. She wasn't sure how to respond - her typical 'no problem' reply would have seen dismissive. She didn't know much about Ryan Atwood, but she did know that he rarely reached out to others. Instead, she offered a tiny nod, and he hugged her again quickly before walking over to Marissa's side.  
  
"Dad," Marissa propped herself up against the couch. "I'm so sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me, I just can't seem to figure out what I'm supposed to do anymore."  
  
"Honey." Jimmy Cooper's tone was kind, but firm. "You're going to a rehabilitation program." Marissa began to protest, but the look on Jimmy's face silenced her. "It's only for a few days - from tomorrow until Sunday evening. You'll be able to start school again on Monday, but I think that getting away from all this, if only for a few days, may really help."  
  
Marissa looked at the room full of concerned faces. Suddenly, she felt like she had been punched in the stomach. What had she been doing to her friends? "Ok." She swallowed and spoke a little louder. "Ok, I'll go."  
  
Summer couldn't help it. A little gasp escaped and she could tell that she was going to start crying if she stood there any longer. "I have to go," she managed, and hurried out of the room, down the stairs.  
  
Seth turned to Ryan and Anna. "Go!" Anna urged. "I'll take Ryan home."  
  
He flashed her a look of thanks and dashed after Summer.  
  
Summer was sitting in the passenger seat of the car. He climbed into the driver seat and covered her small body in a hug. "Hey there," he held her head against his shoulder. "Let's get you home, ok?" He felt her nod, and she pulled back to lay in the leather fabric seat. Seth reclined the seat for her a bit, and she stretched out, her feet on the dashboard as she turned to face him, laying quietly.  
  
They drove in silence for a moment before she spoke.  
  
"I'm really sorry about all this," she began. "I'm normally not a crier at all; this just reminds me so much of my mom, and it just seems like everything is happening so quickly, and I'm really not equipped for all the changes at once. Not that the changes aren't good." Summer reached out and rubbed Seth's arm gently. "It's just a little overwhelming."  
  
"Hey, hey, I get it," Seth replied as they pulled up in front of Summer's house and began to make their way inside. "It's a little crazy for me too, I mean, I'm still not entirely convinced that this isn't some really elaborate dream, or a totally realistic three-dimensional video game adventure, or some new-age live comic book legend, or-"  
  
He stopped as he noticed Summer looking at him, her hands on her hips and her eyebrows raised expectantly as she stood on the stairs to the second level of her house. She crooked her finger and he began to follow her.  
  
"It's just, you know, I'm not really sure what happened," Seth continued to ramble as he followed her up the stairs. "I mean, I've had a crush on you since, you know, the first millisecond I saw you, and now, not only are you like, willing to kiss me and be seen with me in public, but you know all this stuff about my grandpa's business and you have the secret study and I just realized that there's a lot to you, and I always knew it was there, but now I'm right." He smiled as she looked at him, obviously trying not to smile herself. "I like to be right."  
  
"Really?" Summer mocked shock. "No!"  
  
"Yup." Seth moved into Summer's bedroom and gestured to the study.  
  
"So are you going to tell me, or should I let it remain yet another female mystery?"  
  
Summer followed his gaze to the study doorway. She looked up at his nervous, sincere brown eyes, and she didn't want to hold back any longer. 


	14. The Girl No One Knows

"There's a myth here." Summer spoke quietly. "Here in Newport, there's an assumption that there's no such thing as a happy childhood. All of the therapists, all of self-help gurus, all of the life coaches - they anticipate this; they have readied themselves for complaints about those lost formative years. But mine was happy." She looked up, past Seth, and her brown eyes drifted to the windows near her bed.  
  
"You hadn't moved here yet, so you didn't know me before. I used to be different then, back when my father was home and my mother was here on earth. My dad would come home every night just in time for dinner. I remember my mother cooking, helping her to set the table, making out life into a Norman Rockwell painting." A faraway look passed over her eyes, and Seth recognized that she wasn't there anymore. She had become mired in memories, and Seth listened, trying to learn all he could.  
  
"But it wasn't forced." Summer looked down at her hands and then tilted her face up to meet Seth's eyes. He saw himself reflected in their glassy depths, and he moved toward her and sat beside her. "We were happy."  
  
She took a deep breath. "You asked me about the study. Back then, I spent time alone with each of my parents, and they taught me about the things that they loved. For my father, it was his job. He was lucky to love something that provided this kind of lifestyle, and I know everyone thinks he works in finance for the money - maybe he does now. But then - oh, then he loved it." She smiled, delving into memories that she'd kept buried for so long. "He bought me this little cash register - here." She stood and took Seth's hand and let him into the study. She lifted a blue box from the top of a shelf and set it on the floor as Seth kneeled beside her. Her arms trembled as she raised the antique toy out of the box and touched it reverently, with each stroke of the tiny numbered keys a memory of another life.  
  
"Ever since my mother," Summer swallowed, "I know that things have changed. But when I come in here and I read about stocks and mergers and investments, I feel like I'm making him proud, that I'm beginning to shape my mind into something that will allow me to understand him. There has to be an equation, a theory, a strategy somewhere in these books." Her voice broke as she scooped the books into her hands, clutching them. "Somewhere there has to be a reason why he abandoned me." She couldn't hold it in anymore, and the books tumbled out of her hands and crashed against the floor as Seth leapt up. He enveloped Summer in his hands and she clung to him, exposed and vulnerable like she had never been before as all the memories, all the disappointment, all the fear and longing rushed through her and she finally let go as Seth stroked her hair.  
  
After a moment her crying subsided and she looked up at him. Most boys his age would have run by now, but Seth stood steadily by her. His face was gentle and open, and as she looked at him she felt her body tingling, alive and free and light. "Summer." Seth moved toward the girl he had known for years and caught both her hands in his. "I'm here."  
  
She smiled. "I know." She ran her small fingers over his hands, marveling at the small sensations that touching him sparked within her. She led him over to the desk.  
  
"My mother was a writer, did you know that?" Seth shook his head slowly. "She wasn't published or anything," Summer explained, "but I always thought that she was the most talented writer in all the world. She used to write in her journal every night - not just what had happened that day, but poems and stories. Sometimes she would read them to me. After she was gone, I looked everywhere for them, but I never found them. Maybe that's a good thing. Now, when I read through her favorite books, and all the new ones I've discovered, I find that certain lines reach out from the page, as though she's highlighting them for me as something she would have written."  
  
"And that's it." Summer's voice broke as she looked up at Seth again, suddenly exhausted. "That's the explanation for the study and the two halves reflected here. Sometimes I think it's romantic, you know?" She shrugged and gave him half of a smile. "They each had something that they loved and taught that something to me. And now, if I can learn how to master both their passions, I can achieve the dreams of two people."  
  
"But what about these dreams?" Seth carefully folded his hand over Summer's heart. "I think that no matter what you choose to do, you'll make both your parents proud simply by being this girl that I love."  
  
"What?" Summer's breath caught.  
  
"Oh, no, I mean, not that I don't mean it, but I don't want to scare you and I didn't mean to say it, I know that Seventeen magazine would say it's too early, I mean, until twenty-four hours ago, we were friends at best. And all this now, I just mean that, I mean that I finally understand all the walls, why you're so reluctant to let anyone in and the fact that now you've opened the gate and it's me, wow, it's incredible and it feels so good and I just want you to understand that I'll never betray you." He caught her in his arms and smoothed her hair. As he leaned in, he spoke slowly. "You don't have to say it back Summer, in fact, I'd rather you wait until you're sure. I just want you to know that I'm here. And I always will be."  
  
He kissed her softly. Their lips moved together and parted as their tongues touched hesitantly, and then more assuredly as their confident grew and desire overcame their inhibitions. She pulled him down towards her and their knees bent as they fell to the floor, his arms forming a cushion around her. She reached up under his shirt, her hands traveling over his skin, burning into him. He kissed a path down her neck as a moan escaped from her throat while he traced circles around her pearl necklace. Their kissing had an urgency he'd never experienced before, as though she couldn't get enough of him. And he - oh, he wanted her now more than he ever had before, which was saying a lot. But Seth forced himself to pull back for a moment and he lifted her into his arms. He scooped her up with one arm under her knees and another around her back like a groom would carry a bride as they crossed the threshold on their wedding night. He smiled at her, damning himself for his sentimentality, because in her creamy chiffon dress, she could have been a bride, his bride. He felt like the luckiest person on earth as she let him hold her, looking into his eyes as though she could read his admittedly corny thoughts and as though she silently agreed, acquiescing that she was thinking the same foolish thing.  
  
He laid her gently on her bed before bending down to kiss her again, a deep kiss that promised more. "I have to go," he regretted. "My parents are coming home soon and I have to make sure that the house is presentable. And you-" he smiled and planted a quick kiss on Summer's lips as she began to protest, "You should sleep. But I'll see you in the morning - can I take you out for breakfast? Maybe a repeat of our perfectly synchronized Tijuana breakfast, but without the threats of a rage blackout, eh?"  
  
Summer sat up. "Hey there, you asked for it," her voice lilted. "Besides, I was just mad that you hadn't tried to make a move on me after that kiss at your grandpa's party."  
  
Seth puffed out his chest. "Well," he spoke in a faux-deep manly-man voice, "I am quite the lady killer."  
  
They kissed again.  
  
"See you tomorrow sugar," Summer whispered as their lips parted.  
  
"Tomorrow," Seth promised, and he moved to the door as Summer watched him. "And Sum?" He turned. "Thank you."  
  
She knew he was thanking her for sharing everything with him, and she smiled as new, happy tears welled in her eyes, a physical manifestation of her overflowing emotions.  
  
"Anytime." She lifted her hand as he blew her a kiss.  
  
After the door closed behind him, she breathed deeply and settled back among the pillows. She liked this new Summer, the one who wasn't frightened to reach out to Seth Cohen. It's 2004, she thought as her eyes flickered close as she slipped into sleep. It's 2004, and I'm not afraid anymore. 


	15. Insight and Outlook

Seth rubbed his eyes as he walked up the driveway to his house. He hadn't been this tired since the Magic the Gathering marathon a few years ago. He blinked his eyes and looked around his yard, expected to see serious damage from Aunt Hailey's party. He hadn't really looked around when he'd stopped in to change clothing earlier. Surprisingly, the house almost looked better than it had when his parents had left for their little vacation.  
  
Seth walked around the gardenias to the back of the house. He passed a repairman on his way around the exterior of the house, and spotted Hailey inspected one side of the poolhouse. He winced as he remembered his little "breaking the poolhouse window" escapade from the night before.  
  
"Well, there's the man with the fists of steel," Hailey popped up from underneath the patio table and walked towards Seth, hauling a huge garbage bag. "Be a dear and take this one over to the garage, will you? It's the last one, I promise."  
  
Seth sighed and slung the bag over his shoulder, dropping it off on the small pile by the garage. When he returned, Aunt Hailey was reclined on one of the lounge chairs.  
  
"Thanks for getting that window fixed," Seth gestured to the poolhouse and the new replacement window as he laid down on the chair next to hers. "Of course, it was kind of your fault for locking me in there with Ryan and Marissa all night."  
  
"Yeah, sorry about that." Hailey turned to face him. "I didn't realize that there was somewhere you needed to be so urgently.  
  
Seth blushed visibly as he recalled the previous night - Summer in her bare feet, running up his front lawn, kissing Summer on his sailboat as fireworks exploded overhead, waking up next to her, her conversations with Grandpa Caleb's friend, the sweet explanation of the study, finally seeing the Summer he knew had been underneath that protective exterior.  
  
"Yoo hoo? Loverboy?" Hailey smirked as Seth's blush deepened. She settled into her chair, satisfied with herself. "I knew it had to be about a girl."  
  
"Not just any girl," Seth corrected her. "Summer Roberts."  
  
"Summer Roberts?" Hailey smiled. "Nice going, nephew. I'm impressed."  
  
"She's impressive." Seth agreed, trying to contain his happiness and finding it impossible.  
  
"I know you're in the love bubble right now kiddo." Hailey looked serious, and paused until Seth turned to meet her gaze. "But I remember Summer Roberts. Spunky. I always liked that girl. But you have to remember that girls like Summer - she's used to people leaving her. Make sure that she knows she can trust you." Her voice quieted. "When you're a girl who's used to disappointment, it's hard to expect anything else."  
  
Seth was taken back by the statement. He'd always thought of Hailey as one of the lucky people who lived without a care in the world. As he attempted to wrap his head around her statement, she stood and slipped on her shoes.  
  
"Alright kiddo," she smiled and looked like herself again. "I'm off. Tell your mother I'll come see her soon, k?"  
  
Seth grinned in spite of himself. "K!" He mocked her tone.  
  
She grabbed his nose and gave it a little twist, an old maneuver from when he was a kid and liked to pretend he was an elephant. She winked and hopped in her Jeep, waving as she pulled off and headed east.  
  
Seth laid back down on the lawn chair. The sun was warm, and he quickly drifted off to sleep.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------  
  
"Seth?"  
  
Seth groaned and sat up, rubbing his eyes with his fists. He really had to stop falling asleep outside.  
  
"Ryan - hey. What's up?"  
  
"Marissa is having problems."  
  
"Thanks, Captain Obvious. I think we all got that one after this afternoon. C'mon inside, I'm parched." Ryan followed Seth into the main house, where Seth pulled two Mountain Dews out of the fridge and they settled around the kitchen counter.  
  
The truth was, Seth hadn't been a big fan of Marissa's lately. She'd been great when Ryan had first moved in with the Cohens, even helping to hide him in Kirsten's model home. But lately it just seemed like she was getting Ryan into trouble - the drinking, the fender-bender at the Christmas party, the shoplifting, the placement test at Harbor. Seth hated to think about losing Ryan. He had become a major part of his life over the past few months.  
  
"I can't be with Marissa anymore." Ryan sounded out the words as he spoke them, as if he were practicing the phrase. Seth's head popped up.  
  
"Geez, man, I mean, I know that you and Marissa have something going, but I think that maybe it's a good idea to take a break for a little bit, let her get it all sorted out. I mean, she's Summer's best friend and your girlfriend, and I don't want to tell you what to do or to say anything bad about her, but I really, really don't want to lose you." There was sincerity in Seth's rambling that Ryan appreciated.  
  
"Earlier, when we were at Jimmy Cooper's, after you and Summer left," Ryan stared at his Mountain Dew, "Mr. Cooper called the rehab center while Marissa slept. I was just sitting there with Anna, and she was really great. We were just talking, and she said something about how great I was to be there with Marissa. And you know - I realized that it's not great at all. It's just the same old thing as last year for me. My whole life, I've just been sitting by a bedside, wondering if the person I love is going to hurt themselves again. if this is going to be the last time. I just can't do it anymore." Ryan's voice had shifted from upset to a harsher tone tinged with anger. "I left all that behind."  
  
Ryan swallowed a drink of his soda. "Hey, Anna was really awesome today."  
  
Seth nodded. "That she was, my friend. She was surprisingly cool about me and Summer. Maybe she's found out that I'm not such a prize." He mock- insulted himself, hanging his head in exaggerated shame.  
  
Ryan shot him one of his patented sideways glances, and Seth's head popped back up.  
  
"Dude, I thought we talked about this earlier. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of the monologue; now let's work on the dialogue, okay?" Seth opened the refrigerator and began rooting around. "I need some sustenance, stat," Seth shuffled through the jars in the refrigerator. "We have a big honkin' nothing in the fridge." He turned to face Ryan. "Want to order Chinese?"  
  
"Someone say Chinese?" Sandy's booming voice echoed through the house as the front door swung open.  
  
"We're home!" Kirsten called.  
  
"Hurray!" Seth cheered sarcastically as he and Ryan went to greet the Cohens. As he hugged his parents, a smile crossed his face. He took the bag of Chinese food from Kirsten as Ryan headed outside to help Sandy with the luggage.  
  
"Well, my dear son," Kirsten tried not to laugh as she reached up and wiped a small smear of lipstick off Seth's neck. She held out the napkin and showed him the reddish color, raising her eyebrows inquisitively. "Have fun while we were gone?" 


	16. Parenting, Damnit, Parenting

Kirsten Cohen sat down next to her son. It was obvious that he was embarrassed about her discovery of the lipstick on his neck, but she knew her son well enough to tell when he wanted to talk to her about something. Sure, their talks had become more infrequent in the past year, but Kirsten still enjoyed the times when Seth opened up to her.  
  
"So, are you going to tell me where this lovely shade of lipstick came from?" Kirsten gestured to the napkin as she settled down on a stool next to Seth's.  
  
"Oh, God, Mom, please," Seth grimaced and put his head down on the counter. Kirsten reached over and ruffled his hair.  
  
"Seth, you can tell me! I can be your mom and your dawg." Kirsten attempted.  
  
"Mom." Seth picked his head up and faced her. "I thought we talked about this after - say it with me - Tee-a-wha-na. No slang for you. No slang, and no cooking - two basic rules that need to be followed by you at all times."  
  
Seth signed and aimlessly swung his legs around the stool. He knew his mom, and she was nothing if not stubborn. "The lipstick - it's Summer's, ok?" He looked down, but he couldn't help himself from grinning.  
  
Kirsten picked up on his happiness. "Oh hon, that's great. You know," Kirsten began to scoop the Chinese take-out onto four plates. "I think that Summer is going to be the talk of your school after she presented her honors project."  
  
"What?" Seth couldn't believe this. Another Summer revelation?  
  
"Oh, yeah, her independent study," Kirsten revealed casually. She paused and looked at Seth. "You know, Summer has been working in the company library - she's doing some great research into formulas of risk."  
  
"Oh.right," Seth recalled Summer mentioning her interest in formulas and theories, but wondered why she hadn't said anything about an independent project. "Cool."  
  
"She's extremely bright, very persistent," Kirsten mused.  
  
"I took her with me to Grandpa's - well, I guess it was Julie Cooper's party - today." Seth popped a potsticker in his mouth as Kirsten playfully swatted his hand away from the food. "Grandpa seemed really impressed. Summer was talking finance with one of his friends, and she knew practically everything. Grandpa even told me that she reminded him of you."  
  
"Of course," Seth added, grabbing another potsticker, "maybe that's just a cue to rethink getting involved with someone who's probably an awful cook."  
  
"Hey!" Kirsten feigned anger. "But seriously, honey, just be careful with Summer. I know she seemed tough, but she's been through a lot. Now c'mon." Kirsten hopped off the stool and began to set out drinks and napkins. "Let's get dinner ready while Ryan and Sandy finish up with the luggage."  
  
Seth slid off the stool and began to reach the top cabinet, handing dishes down to his mom. On an impulse, he kissed her on the cheek. "I love you, Mom."  
  
Kirsten smiled. "Love you too." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------  
  
Ryan and Sandy finished unloading the luggage and carried the matching black bags up to the master bedroom.  
  
When they reached the bedroom, Ryan set the bags down with a sigh. "Hey, Sandy, can I talk to you for a minute?"  
  
"Sure!" Sandy closed the room gently. "What's going on?"  
  
"Well," Ryan struggled with the words. He wasn't used to opening up, especially not to any sort of parental figure. "Marissa and I have been together for a few months now, but lately, things haven't been doing so great." He paused, unsure of how to continue.  
  
"Okay," Sandy prompted him in his friendly voice. "So what seems to be the problem?"  
  
"I feel really bad about it," Ryan admitted, "but Marissa has entered a real downward spiral lately." Sandy nodded. Jimmy Cohen had filled him in on Marissa's problems.  
  
"Son," Sandy patted Ryan's back gently. "When we asked you to live here with us, I have to admit that we hoped that we could give you a new kind of life. I've told you this before - you don't have to be a parent anymore."  
  
Ryan shook his head in agreement. "I don't want to have that responsibility again."  
  
Sandy pursed his lips and furrowed his eyebrows. "I know that you care for Marissa," he said quietly. "But you need to make sure that you're living the life you want."  
  
Ryan stood quietly, absorbing what Sandy had told him.  
  
"Come on downstairs," Sandy patted Ryan's back again. "There's some pad thai with your name on it." 


	17. So Much For the Afterglow

The next few days passed in a blur. Summer and Seth spent the remainder of winter break together, and true to his word, he picked her up every morning for breakfast. Continuing the tradition, he pulled up in her driveway at 7:30 am on Monday, January 5th. He grabbed his bag of breakfast takeout, leaping out of his car and ringing her doorbell in one fluid motion.  
  
"It's open!" Summer called from inside the house. Seth eased the door open and stepped inside as Summer began to skip down the stairs to the door. His breath caught in his throat as he watched her.  
  
Summer's lithe tan legs were barely covered by a tiny red miniskirt. A fitted white oxford clung to her chest, the first three buttons undone, offering just a hint of what lay beneath. She had thrown a ribbed black cardigan over the shirt, and it drew attention to her dark hair and eyes. She was gorgeous.  
  
"Oh, my god." Seth grabbed his chest and mocked a heart attack as Summer threw her arms around him and kissed him deeply. "So, let me get this straight. You're brilliant, my have a secret study where you create works of genius, my family loves you, you've funny, hot as hell, and so sexy that I have no idea why you're with me."  
  
"Seth," Summer wrapped her legs around him and spoke in between kisses. "I'm with you because I'm crazy about you. So stop talking about my boyfriend, because he's awesome."  
  
"Hey there!" Seth smiled. "You said 'awesome'! Very nice. We just have to get you rambling a little more, get you into a vintage tee - you'll have the total Seth Cohen makeover."  
  
"That's alright." Summer smoothed her clothes and led Seth into the kitchen. "Just because I'm as smart as a dork doesn't mean I have to dress like one."  
  
"That hurts me Summer," Seth grabbed his heart. "That hits here. And to think, I was going to give you my toast crusts."  
  
"No!" Summer put her hands on her hips and pouted. "I love the crusts. Pleeease?" She batted her eyelashes and slid over to him. Seth felt his heart beating faster, and he swept her up into his arms. She spoke softly. "I'm crazy about you, you know that?" She smiled mischievously. "Now gimme those crusts, sugar!"  
  
They playfully tussled over the breakfast, flirting as they ate before heading off to school.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------  
  
Summer swept into school, noticing every guy who checked her out. Seth had kissed her goodbye in the parking lot, since he had an early meeting of the literary magazine. Some crisis with the cover.  
  
Candace came running up to her. Summer suppressed a groan. She hadn't seen Candace since she'd left the New Year's Eve party on an impulse to run to the Cohen's. One of the best decisions I've ever made, she told herself, and smiled. She was becoming a total softie.  
  
"Ohmigod, Sum-Sum!" Candace embraced her in a faux-hug. "Your skirt is so totally cute! Juicy?"  
  
"Um, no." Summer was distracted as Seth turned the corner of the hallway and began striding towards her. He was wearing one of her favorite vintage tees, a soft hunter green, and dimples were in full effect. How had she missed how completely hot he was for so long. "Burberry." Candace began blabbering on again, something about plaid, but Summer was watching Seth, a smile on her own face. She walked towards him, leaving Candace a few steps behind.  
  
"Hey beautiful," he greeted her.  
  
"Um, Seth Cohen?" Summer winced at Candace's voice behind her. "Like, what do you think, you're like, doing?"  
  
Seth tilted his head back at Candace. "I'm like, talking, to like, my girlfriend."  
  
Summer stifled a smile as she watched Candace's mouth drop. The blonde glanced back and forth at the two of them, then she grabbed Summer's arm and pulled her back a few steps. Seth stood a few feet away, looking puzzled.  
  
"What?" Summer asked, aggravated.  
  
"Ok, so, like, I don't get it. He's Seth Cohen!" Candace waved her arms at Seth.  
  
"Yeah? So?"  
  
"Oh. oh, I get it." A rare look of comprehension flicked across Candace's face. "It's like, a charity date - put in some time now, and maybe you can snag his family's money later."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Summer stood up straight and put her hands on her hips. "Unlike you, some people actually date other people because they like them, not because they're golddiggers. And for your information, Seth Cohen is about a billion times cooler than you'll ever be and I'm crazy about him." With that she turned away on her heels, looped her arm through Seth's as they began to walk down the hall.  
  
The two walked in silence for a minute.  
  
"Oh god." Summer began to recognize the impact of what she's said to Candace. "That's it. I just cut every social time I've been building in this school for ten years."  
  
"Hey," Seth rubbed her hand soothingly. "It'll be ok."  
  
She smiled at looked up at him. "I know."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------  
  
"Marissa!" Summer bounded up to the taller girl after second period. Despite a rocky start with the Candace confrontation, the day was going remarkably well. Her English teacher had just announced a project on Shakespeare's sonnets and she had been paired with Seth for the project. "Marissa, wait up!"  
  
Marissa turned slowly, and the smile on her face evaporated as she saw Summer standing there. "Well, if it isn't Little Miss Tattletale herself."  
  
"What?" Summer noticed that she was screeching, and tried to control her voice. "Are you talking about how I called you dad?"  
  
"Yes, valley girl, I am." Marissa bit down on the words, sounding harsher than she ever had before. "Because of you, I spent the last few days in a rehab facility, talking about my feelings. And you know what my feelings are, Summer?"  
  
The brunette was silent.  
  
"This is all your fault. You're the one who always wanted to go party, and now that I've finally having fun, you can't stand it. So why don't you just run along with your new boyfriend or whatever, because we're done." Marissa spun on her heel and walked away.  
  
Summer stood completely still. She knew that Marissa was wrong, but that didn't make her words sting any less. She began to move quickly, in the opposite direction as Marissa, when she collided head-on with another body.  
  
Summer toppled backwards, and the other girl landed next to her in tangle.  
  
Summer managed a smile. "Hey, Anna."  
  
"Hey."  
  
The girls stood up and began to straighten out their clothes. Just as Summer was preparing to continue walking, Anna spoke.  
  
"She's just scared," Anna said, referring to Marissa. "Just give her some time, ok?" Summer nodded.  
  
"Do you want me to talk to her?" Anna asked softly.  
  
Summer nodded again, whispered a thanks to the girl she'd once considered a rival as she hurried off to her next class.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------  
  
Summer pasted a smile on her face as she slid into a chair next to Seth at lunchtime. She knew she could talk with him about her conversation with Marissa, but she really didn't want to dump all her problems on him.  
  
"Hey sugar," she purred, kissing him quickly before unwrapping her sushi, courtesy of the Harbor Café.  
  
"I don't know how you can eat that stuff," Seth looked at her sushi. "I don't get sushi. It's like going into a chicken coop, pulling the feathers of Mother Hen, and saying - yes, raw, that's the way to do it."  
  
Summer gave him a shove and looked over at his brown bag lunch. "Peanut butter and jelly? Way to be a seven-year-old."  
  
"Um, excuse me." Seth peeled the top layer off the sandwich. "Now this may look like an ordinary sandwich, but I have yet to add the secret ingredient that makes it a decadent gourmet meal." He opened a bag of barbeque potato chips and began layering them in the middle of the sandwich. He gently pressed the top half bag on and took a bite with a loud crunch. "Ahhh." He clutched his heart in ecstasy. "Heaven."  
  
Summer looked skeptical. "C'mon," he held out the sandwich as an offering. "Give it a try. You know, sometimes the things we initially resist are the things we come to love the most." He winked at her.  
  
Summer rolled her eyes and took a bite of the sandwich. She had to admit, it was awesome. Totally worth the carbohydrates.  
  
"Am I right, or am I right?" Seth looked pleased with himself.  
  
"Oh!" Summer started as she spotted Anna passing by the cafeteria door. She'd been dying to know if she'd spoken with Marissa. "I have to go. Can you meet me by my locker in about fifteen minutes?" She shoved her books over to Seth's side of the table, kissing him quickly as she ran toward the door. "Thanks!"  
  
Seth sighed and took another large bite of his sandwich. Women. He reached over to grab his bag of chips, and knocked all of Summer's books to the floor. He began picking them up quickly. One folder had turned upside down, and the pages were everywhere. He grabbed them off the ground, and began to try and put them back into order.  
  
He paused. The papers were applications - summer programs at Stanford, a writing institute at Harvard, a research grant from Fortune magazine, an internship with Barrett Financial Enterprises. He sorted the papers carefully, wondering why Summer hadn't mentioned any of this to him. He left the cafeteria and made his way to her locker. He'd be early to meet her, but he wasn't hungry anymore, a rarity for him.  
  
He knew it was wrong, but Seth couldn't resist. He sat at the base of Summer's locker and opened the folder again. This time, he noticed a folded piece of paper wedged in the back of the folder. He closed the folder and began to unfold the sheet.  
  
"Hey sugar!" Summer's voice lilted down the hallway. She was trying her best to be happy - Anna hadn't spoken to Marissa yet, but Anna seemed to think everything would be fine, which Summer took as a good sign.  
  
Seth shoved the paper in his backpack discreetly and handed Summer the rest of her folders. She was busy looking at a poster for that weekend's winter dance, and hadn't noticed his maneuver.  
  
"Thanks," Summer pushed him up against a wall and kissed him. "Take a walk with me before biology?"  
  
Seth smiled, vowing not to think about the paper. He already felt guilty about taking it, but there was nothing he could do about his actions now.  
  
"Sure." He held her hand gently as they moved outside into the sunshine. 


	18. Secrets, Lies and Lit Mag

Ryan loved soccer.  There was something so satisfying about running, dodging and then finally scoring a goal, despite the best efforts of the other team to stop you.  The coach's whistle blew and the team jogged back to the sidelines, slipping off their blue jersey they wore for practice.

Luke sat next to Ryan on the bench.  After his father came out, Luke had become much quieter, more introspective – more like me, Ryan thought.  The idea surprised him.

"Hey," Luke began to untie his cleats.  "How's Marissa doing?"  

Ryan caught his eye and shook his head slightly.  Luke nodded in understanding.  The truth was that Marissa hadn't been doing so well.  The rehab center seemed to have quelled her drinking for now, but Marissa was harsher, angrier and moodier than ever before.

Luke hesitated for a moment.  "You want a ride home?"

Ryan was surprised, but decided to grab hold of the olive branch.  "Sure."

The two boys made their way to Luke's truck.  They drove in silence for a moment, and then Luke began to speak.

"I know that I did a really terrible thing to Marissa," Luke admitted.  "And I'm not making excuses-"

"Good."  Ryan's temper flared.  He took a deep breath.  "Sorry."

"The thing is, man, is that Marissa has always had troubles.  Episodes of eating disorder, mood swings like you wouldn't believe.  She holds grudges – she has a way of making you feel like you're the only one who could save her, and when you can't, you're a failure.  I just couldn't deal with it – it made me feel old, tired."

Luke cut the engine as her pulled up in front of the Cohen's house.  "I know you care about her – she's easy to fall for.  But just be careful – Marissa… what's going on now isn't just a temporary situation."

Ryan stepped out of the truck and looked at Luke carefully, searching his face for ulterior motives.  But his face was open, and showed his genuine concern.

"Thanks."  Ryan spoke slowly, raising his hand to wave goodbye before he turned and went into the house.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seth rounded the corner outside the literary magazine office and caught his breath.  Finally, a moment alone.  The paper he'd taken from Summer's folder had been taunting him all day.  He held it in his hands, wanting to ignore it.  But he couldn't take the possibility of not knowing, and he unfolded the document as his curiosity overtook him. 

Summer's looping scrawl filled the page.

Rosemary for Remembrance: A Sonnet for Ophelia

_Her loden eyes were blind with seaweed's haze_

_The river claimed her citron sparkle flash_

_Yet still I slipped and drowned within her gaze._

_They claim her liquid smile will soon be ash_

_That time and dust will dull her rippling glow._

_Yet oceans never end, for memories _

_Of swimming pools will hold me even now._

_Her lifeless stare possessed a knowing tease, _

_And anger seized me, razors sliced my soul._

_Around me shallow weeping scorned my pain._

_I searched her lips for secrets never told_

_They laughed and called this lovely girl insane._

_They said that she alone caused her watery death_

_But with this as her life, what other choice was left?___

Seth couldn't believe what he was reading.  Summer had written this?  The sonnet was in nearly flawless iambic pentameter, and the references to _Hamlet_ were perfectly executed.  She must have been inspired to write it after their English class, since they were studying Shakespeare's sonnets.

Suddenly, a light bulb went on in his mind.  The next issue of the literary magazine was supposed to go to the printers tonight – it was an issue dedicated to the homage, and Seth had wanted to print a portion of one of the featured pieces on the cover.  The sonnet would fit perfectly.  

He dashed into the lit mag room, almost crashing into Anna.  

"Hey there!" she spoke playfully.  "I really don't need to fall down twice in a day."

"I've got the cover."  Seth handed Anna the sonnet, and watched as she read it, her eyes widening as she took in the words.

"This is incredible," she breathed, still looking at the paper.  "Did you write this?"

"Nope." Seth smiled proudly.  "It's Summer's."

"You know," Anna said thoughtfully, "that girl has a lot more to her than one would think."  She looked up at Seth.  "Cover?"

"You're reading my mind, Madame Cleo."

The two hurried typed the sonnet, formatting the front page crisply.  Anna typed the final stanza with a florish.  She hit the enter bar twice to add a space, inserting "Author: Summer Roberts" after the sonnet.  Seth bit his lip.  His original impulse to showcase the poem now seemed wrong, at least not without talking to Summer about it first.  

"Hi guys!"  Summer bounded into the room, and Anna stood from the computer to greet her.  Seth quickly reaching for the keyboard and deleted the author credit on the screen, so the final design was just the sonnet.

"Hey Sum," Seth waved, grabbing his bag to leave.  "You're done with your meeting?"

"Yup."  Summer turned to explain to Anna.  "Independent study."

"You're such a talented writer," Anna complimented.  "I think it really suits you."

Summer glanced at her, confused.  "It's really more about the financial world."

Anna's brow burrowed.  Sonnets and the financial world?  "I was actually-"

"Hey!"  Seth interrupted, stepping in between the two girls.  "Who wants ice cream?"

The girls looked at him, confused.  

"Um," Summer bit her lip.  "I guess we're going for ice cream.  Do you want to come?" she asked Anna.

"No thanks." Anna smiled.  "I'm actually supposed to meet up with Marissa later on.  I'll call you later about it."

"Great."  Summer grinned.  "Thanks."

Summer and Seth left the room as Anna sat back down at the lit mag computer.  That's strange, she thought as she looked at the screen.  She quickly retyped a line, and hit "send" – making sure that the cover got to the printers right in the nick of time.


	19. Another Ship in the Storm

Ryan drummed his fingers of the armrest of the couch in the poolhouse. He'd just hung up the phone with Marissa, and he could tell that her stint in rehab hadn't been the change he was hoping for. She had, at least temporarily, seemed to have given up drinking, but the depth he'd seen when he first arrived seemed gone. She's prattled on and on about Summer, dreaming up a rivalry between the two friends, and expressing how nice and super-sweet Candace had been to her. Ryan could not tolerate Candance. She'd treated him like dirt when he'd first arrived in Newport, and now she was fake-nice to him because he was dating Marissa.  
  
Ryan thought back to the conversation. Marissa had rambled brightly for most of the call, but her voice had darkened for a moment after she'd ranted about Summer.  
  
"Anna Stern called me earlier," he recalled Marissa saying, "Telling me that Summer was just trying to be a good friend, and that she would have called my dad too. As if! Who does that girl think she is, anyway? Go back to Pittsburgh, loser."  
  
Ryan had made a hasty excuse to hang up after that. He shifted on the couch and signed deeply. He had to figure out a way to break up with Marissa as gently as possible. She was a different person in 2004, and he wasn't anxious to repeat the last sixteen years of his life by taking care of someone who didn't want his help.  
  
He was startled by a soft knock on the poolhouse door. "Come in," he called, expecting Seth to enter.  
  
Anna cautiously stepped inside. Ryan stood up to greet her, surprised.  
  
"Hey," he said. Anna smiled. She didn't know Ryan well, but he was one of those rare people who could convey Hi-there-how-are-you-what's-going-on in a single 'hey."  
  
"Hi." Anna shuffled her feet. "Um, I guess you're wondering why I'm here."  
  
"Well, it's either because you're here for a repeat of Thanksgiving with Seth," Ryan smiled and Anna's jaw dropped. She picked up a throw pillow and chucked it at him. Ryan put his hands up in a mock-surrender. "Or you're here to talk about your conversation with Marissa." His voice became more serious.  
  
Anna nodded slowly. She sat down on the couch, and Ryan settled in on the ottoman directly across from her. Their knees bumped slightly, and Anna blushed.  
  
"Ryan, I think Marissa may need some serious help. When I talked to her earlier, she was going on and on about Summer and parties and her mother and Caleb Nichol and her father and a financial conspiracy." Anna took a breath. "It was kind of scary."  
  
"Did she say anything about me?" Ryan asked quickly.  
  
"No." Anna furrowed her brow. "That actually really confused me. But she did tell me, after she ranted for about fifteen minutes, that I had some nerve calling a girl like her and I should move back to the E.C. - I think that's supposed to mean 'East Coast' - because I have no business being in the O.C." She bit the inside of her mouth. Maybe Marissa was right. What was she doing here, anyway? She didn't fit in with these kids. She'd thought she'd found a kindred spirit in Seth, but she'd come to accept that they were better off as friends.  
  
Ryan leaned forward on the ottoman as his legs slid next to hers, touching them softly.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Anna kept her head down, taking in a quick gulp of air before she looked back up at him. His eyes were impossibly blue. She felt exposed as his gaze traveled over her face. No, no, no, this could not be happening. She was not going to fall for another guy who was already attached to a Newport Queen Bee.  
  
Ryan reached up and gently tucked a stray piece of Anna's hair behind her ear. Her breathing slowed, and he found himself looking into her wise brown eyes, soothed by her steady manner. She was like him, he realized, taking in the scenery, a newcomer to Newport. He liked the way she tilted her head when she spoke to him, her fascinating mix of complete boldness and utter shyness.  
  
"Hey guys!" Ryan and Anna jumped as Seth bounded into the poolhouse. He glanced from Ryan to Anna, and then back to Ryan, a small smile flickering over his face. "Anna." He tipped an imaginary cap to her. "Ice cream?" He held out a pint to her.  
  
"Um, no, I was just going." Anna hurriedly gathered up her back and dashed out of the door, calling a "see you tomorrow!" behind her as she left.  
  
Seth turned back to Ryan, smiling knowingly.  
  
"Don't even say it." Ryan flopped back onto the couch and pulled a pillow over his face. 


	20. The Race for Royalty

"Oo, save me some of that pineapple," Summer pouted. She was eating breakfast with Seth, Ryan and Anna at one of the tables that lined the exterior of Harbor. It was funny, she thought, how comfortable she felt around Anna now. It was difficult for her to trust a girl, and the separation between herself and Marissa was tough on her. Anna was different, though. Summer watched as Anna offered Ryan a cinnamon roll, and noted her frequent smile. Summer was an expert at judging flirtations, and she could already tell that Miss Anna Stern was a sucker for Ryan Atwood's baby blue eyes. She stifled a smile and turned back to Seth. He had been watching them too, and she could read in his expression that he had come to the same conclusions as she had.  
  
"Attention, ladies and gentleman." The four teenagers quieted at the sound to the school's crystal-clear public address system. "The winter dance nominations have been tallied. These names come from the nomination forms submitted in mid-December, prior to winter break. For winter queen, the nominees are Marissa Cooper, Candace Merky, and Summer Roberts."  
  
Seth let out a whoop and kissed Summer excitedly. She stiffened in his arms, and he pulled back, concerned. "You ok?" he asked.  
  
She settled back down into her seat and looked around the table at Seth, Ryan and Anna. "I don't know if I can do this," she admitted. Did she really want to participate in another popularity contest?  
  
Surprisingly, Ryan spoke up. "I think you'd be great," he said quietly. Summer studied him, confused.  
  
"I thought you'd be pulling for Marissa," she spoke softly. It still stung to say her name, especially when Summer had no idea why Marissa was acting so cruelly towards her.  
  
"Yeah," Ryan glanced down as the three teenagers studied him. "I went over to her mom's house last night - Mr. Cooper told me that she's staying there now - to break up with her. But before I could say anything, she dumped me. Told me that Chino didn't go with Chanel."  
  
Seth grimaced. "Harsh."  
  
Ryan stood, preparing to go to class. "I guess." He looked over at Anna. "Wanna walk to history together?"  
  
Anna grinned. "Sure. See you guys later."  
  
After the two had left, Seth twisted to face Summer.  
  
"So, should I call you Queen Summer now?" he joked.  
  
"If I'm the Queen," she murmured, "Wouldn't that make you the court jester?"  
  
"I think not, my lady." He moved towards her until their faces were inches apart.  
  
"Oh, I think so, sugar." She smiled and leaned in to his kiss. They had probably kissed several thousand times in the last few days, but Summer still had that sensation of melting and coming together every time their lips met. She slid her hands up around his neck, tangling her fingers in his hair as his palms pressed against her back, drawing her closer. When they broke apart, he leaned her forehead on his and gave her a small smirk.  
  
"Fine." She rolled her eyes. "If you'll be my date to the dance, you can be promoted from jester to king."  
  
"Done and done." He reached across the table and grabbed the last chunk of pineapple from breakfast. Summer leaned forward and took the fruit into her mouth, savoring the taste of his skin that mixed with the citrus.  
  
"I knew it." Seth looked pleased. "I knew that one day you'd be eating out of my hand."  
  
Summer grinned and whacked him playfully with her purse. Together, they cleaned off the table before heading off to class, his arm looped around her casually.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------  
  
Summer knocked on Dr. Hawkins' door. She'd been working with him since September on her independent study project - an undertaking that she'd managed to keep under wraps, despite the always-active Newport gossip scene.  
  
Dr. Hawkins opened the door and welcomed her. She always found his presence soothing - perhaps because he bore an uncanny resemblance to Santa Claus. She settled in to her usual chair by his desk while he reached into a file and handed her a thick envelope.  
  
"Open it," he urged her, a smile on his face. Before she'd presented her study proposal, he was ashamed to admit that he'd written Summer Roberts off as another Newport twit. But after working with her for the last few months, he was forced to concede that she was one of the brightest, most original minds he'd ever had the honor of teaching. Her project - an analysis of formulas of risk and the effect on investment possibilities - had captivated his attention. She had a true passion for the subject and a endless curiousity. If she kept up her current work, he mused, she could have the makings of a great economist.  
  
Summer eased open the thick envelope and skimmed the letter on top. Her hand flew to her chest. "Ohmigod!" she gasped. "I won the fellowship?" She stood and threw her arms around Dr. Hawkins in a brief hug, and then began to jump up and down.  
  
Dr. Hawkins was pleased with her excitement. The Sebastian Fellowship was awarded to a promising new scholar in the field of economics. Not only did it offer major inroads for future research, it also practically guaranteed acceptance into any economics program in the country. He had been encouraging Summer to look into Harvard, and she'd always doubted herself as an applicant. He hoped that this would finally provide her with the confidence she needed to apply.  
  
"Thank you so much," she said gratefully. "This fellowship is something I wanted so badly."  
  
"I know." Dr. Hawkins smiled at the girl. "You earned it."  
  
Summer bit down on her lower lip and settled back into her seat. "You know," she remarked. "My dad won this fellowship when he was my age."  
  
Dr. Hawkins nodded slowly. He reached out and touched Summer's arm carefully. "Summer." He spoke deliberately, and she looked up at him. "You should be very proud of yourself. I'm proud of you." Summer blinked quickly and wiped her eyes. "Thank you. For everything." She picked up her bag and hurried out of the office. She leaned her head against a wall and breathed deeply. She'd waited so long to hear those words. If only her father had been the one to say them. 


	21. A Dress to Build a Dream On

"Summer!" Anna called down the hallway at the end of the day of Tuesday. The petite brunette turned around as Anna hurried towards her. "Hey, I was wondering if you were busy this afternoon - maybe we could go shopping for dresses for the Winter Dance?" Anna asked her, hesitantly. She and Summer were friendly now, but they hadn't spent much time alone together.  
  
Summer smiled at the blonde. "Sure," she agreed. "Fashion Island?"  
  
"Is there anywhere else?" Anna valley-girled back.  
  
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The best thing about shopping at Fashion Island was that every boutique had great dressing rooms, complete with benches and shoes, so a prospective buyer could see the full, accessorized effect of the outfit. Summer smoothed the skirt on a potential dress and called for Anna to come in.  
  
"I'm not sure." Summer frowned at her reflection.  
  
"I would kill to look like that in that dress." It really wasn't fair, Anna noted. Summer looked incredible in just about everything. Now, she was clad in a fitted red dress that traced her enviable curves.  
  
"I kind of want something more romantic," Summer noted. "I mean, this dress is more 'hey baby' than 'hello sweetheart' - do you know what I mean?"  
  
"Hang on-" Anna dashed out of the fitting room and returned with her hands behind her back. "What do you think about. this?" She pulled a dress behind her back and held it out for Summer's approval.  
  
"Ohmigod." Summer's voice trailed off as she eyed the gown. It wasn't like anything she'd typically pick out, but it was perfect.  
  
The dress was long, a gauzy pinkish cream dashed with tiny crystals on a filmy fine lace. The bodice was a deep v-neck, offset by tiny lace cap sleeves. It was Eliza Doolittle becoming My Fair Lady. It was Versace. Summer reached for the tag and gasped. It was more than she had ever spent on a single item of clothing. She took the dress from Anna reverently.  
  
Anna kept speaking on the other side of the room after Summer closed the door between them. "Now, of course, that's way too much for a high school dance, but I was thinking that we could footnote the style and look for something similar, maybe a knock-off around-"  
  
Anna stopped talking as the door swung open. Summer stood in front of her in the dress, glowing.  
  
"Or you just buy that one."  
  
"Girl after my own heart." Summer looked at her reflection and squealed. "Now, Miss Anna, it's time to find something for you. Let me just pay for this and the mission begins!"  
  
Anna laughed as Summer quickly slipped out of the dress and back into her regular clothes. "You're the boss, after all."  
  
Summer emerged from the dressing room, the gown draped over her arm.  
  
"Or should I say, you're soon to be the queen." Anna corrected with a smile.  
  
"I don't think so." Summer and Anna stopped laughing at the sound of a tight voice behind them.  
  
Marissa.  
  
She smiled a fake smile at the two girls and raised her eyebrows at Summer's dress. "Summer, interesting choice? Going for the undercover slut look for once?"  
  
Normally, Summer would have responded with a sharp, feisty comeback. But this was Marissa. the girl who'd been her best friend. Thankfully, Anna jumped between them.  
  
"No, but I can see that you're going for the stuck-up bitch look," Anna remarked. "That style really works well for you."  
  
"Please." Marissa rolled her eyes. "Like any insults from the Pittsburgh Reject really sting. And Anna - why don't you try to find a guy who actually likes you, instead of hanging around Ryan, trying to get with my rejects? Or did you not learn your lesson with Seth?" With that, Marissa spun on her heel and strode out of the boutique.  
  
"Oh, god." Summer slid a comforting arm around Anna. The small blonde was visibly shaken. "I'm so sorry, Anna. She's just jealous because it's obvious that Ryan is interested in you."  
  
"What?" Anna looked at her questioningly.  
  
"Oh, do not play dumb with me," Summer teased gently. "You know, Miss Anna," she remarked as she paid for the dress, "I saw the way you used to look at Seth. It was obvious that you thought he was a great guy, which, of course he is." She paused. "But when you're with Ryan, it's like you two are giving off heat - your energy just feeds off of his."  
  
"Kind of like you and Seth," Anna remarked.  
  
"Exactly." Summer grinned triumphantly. "So, you admit that you're into him?"  
  
Anna blushed a deep scarlet. She gave Summer a small nod.  
  
"Alright, Miss Anna." Summer swung the garment bag with her dress in it over her shoulder. "Two step plan: first, secure the dress, and second, secure the date."  
  
Anna laughed and agreed as they headed into the next boutique. 


	22. Hazy, Crazy Daze

A/N: Thanks to everyone for the reviews! I know that some people aren't big fans of my Marissa right now, but keep reading! I'm trying hard to show that everyone makes mistakes, even in fanfic. This story was planned as a 25-chapter piece, though I think it may end up being 26 chapters. Thanks to all who reviewed - I'm learning a lot and the comments will really help for story #2!  
  
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Time always moved quickly in Newport - Ryan recalled the blur that had encompassed Thanksgiving, Chrismukah and New Year's Eve. Now that school had started again, the days seemed to slip by faster than ever.  
  
Wednesday at school was difficult. He'd passed Marissa in the hallway, talking with a redhead he didn't recognize. He did, however, remember her forced smile, the one she wore when she was really hurting inside. As they'd brushed by each other, their eyes had met for a moment and her face had relaxed. He knew from past experience that a good number of people found it easier to push people away with anger and cruelty than to admit that they were suffering themselves. Even though he recognized that Marissa wasn't the girl for him, he still cared for her, and found himself worrying despite himself.  
  
He'd asked Anna to the school dance at Summer's urging, and something about the way Anna had agreed sparked a new hope inside him. Maybe it was because she was so much like Seth, but Ryan felt at ease around her. She also possessed a calmness that Seth lacked, and Ryan enjoyed the steadiness of her character.  
  
Thursday was more of the same - Ryan was reveling in the comfort of a routine. He had breakfast with Seth, Summer and Anna, then class, lunch with the group, more class, and soccer practice. Some might have called it boring, but Ryan found it fascinating - the lack of drama and problems gave him an opportunity to examine his own life, instead of constantly worrying about someone else. And as much as he hated to admit it, he liked being selfish.  
  
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Seth fidgeted nervously as he waited for Summer to answer her door. It was Thursday night, and they were going to an awards ceremony. Summer had sworn him to secrecy - he wasn't sure what the ceremony was even about - maybe something for her father, who was flying back into town from London that evening. He rubbed his fingers together and rang the doorbell again. He had to tell her about the literary magazine, he realized. He was just so scared that she would be angry. At least the publication would be anonymous, he told himself.  
  
The door swung open. Summer looked. well, great, as usual, but completely different.  
  
Her dark hair was pulled back into a loose bun. She was wearing a white blouse with a fitted argyle sweater pulled on over it. The fitted, black, knee-length pencil skirt hugged her curves. She pulled on her left shoe, a heeled mary-jane style, and grabbed a black portfolio, tucking the case under her arm.  
  
"Ready?" She took in the look on his face and self-consciously tugged at the sweater. "I know, it's different, I-"  
  
"You look so sexy," Seth murmured, sliding in close to her. "Like a naughty librarian."  
  
"Seth Cohen!" Summer poked him squarely in the chest and closed the front door to her house before heading to the Range Rover.  
  
"I'm serious!" Seth exclaimed as he started the ignition. "One of my all- time favorite fantasies."  
  
"Oh, really?" Summer purred back at him. She opened the portfolio and pulled something out of the inside pocket. She turned to face him. When he saw her, the car swerved a little.  
  
"Oh god, glasses." Seth couldn't believe that this was his girlfriend. The cat's-eye glasses magnified Summer's chocolate eyes. The glasses, combined with the outfit that just hinted at the body underneath, were enough to drive him absolutely crazy.  
  
"You need to stop!" Seth laughed. "I'm serious, take those off or we'll never make it to the ceremony." He paused. "What is this ceremony, anyway? Is it a sexy library convention? Because, you know, I could really get into that."  
  
"You'll see, sugar." Summer smiled and gazed out the car window, propping her feet up on the dash and stretching out her legs.  
  
"Alright, can't look at you anymore - bad for driving." Seth concentrated on the road. "Also bad for the construction of coherent sentences."  
  
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The front of the Sebastian Institute was lit with tiny white lights. As Seth and Summer walked into the building, he noted that they were the youngest people there by about thirty years. He whispered in her ear as they were shown to their table near the front of the room. "Summer, why are we here?"  
  
She ignored him and settled into their seat. A couple in their 60s sat across from them, and a single chair at the table was empty. That's odd - Seth noticed that all the other tables had six chairs.  
  
"Welcome to the annual Sebastian Institute gala!" Summer turned at the sound of Dr. Hawkins' and smiled. "As you know, the Sebastian Institute hosts a gala each year to celebrate the finest achievement in the academic world." The crowd clapped at the statement. "This year, I am honored to introduce one of the finest young minds I have ever encountered. The 2004 winner of the Sebastian Fellowship is destined for greatness in the field of economics. With a groundbreaking project, an analysis of formulas of risk and the effect on investment possibilities, this year's winner's work is already being utilized by Barrett Financial. Here to explain her project and plans for the future, please welcome Miss Summer Roberts."  
  
Summer stood and made her way to the podium. She glanced back at Seth, who was watching with an expression of total awe and love. Her gaze fell to the single chair at their table that was still empty. She pushed her disappointment back in her mind and began to speak.  
  
"My interest in economics began early in life." Summer looked out at the crowd, scanning the room for his face. "I suppose that there aren't many six-year-olds who asked to be read Adam Smith and John Nash as bedtime stories. But I think now that any subject can be made interesting if it's clear that the teacher has a passion for the subject." She looked down at her notes. "And I was lucky to have my father, a former Sebastian Fellowship winner, as my teacher." She took a breath.  
  
"I stumbled upon my thesis by searching for answers within my own life. I have always felt that the formulas of risk, so gracefully designed into equations within economics, have a direct correlation to human behavior. By applying this psychology to a logical formula and deviating a practical application, I have found that, in investments, one can always gauge the most rational path."  
  
Summer looked out at the crowd again, summoning the strength to look one more time. He wasn't there. She looked at Seth again, keeping eye contact with him as she concluded.  
  
"The financial world is a place where rationality is rewarded. But even with the proper analysis of risk, it is always vital that we remember what cannot be deviated from formulas. By listening to our hearts and retaining a connection to our gut instinct, we will not only make the right choice - we will make the best one."  
  
She paused and gave a small smile. "Thank you."  
  
The crowd applauded enthusiastically. Summer watched Seth's face, a wide grin across his features as he stood to applaud her. As she looked around the room while she strode into his arms, she tried to think about everything she had in her life, how lucky she was. Seth's arms slid around her and she closed her eyes.  
  
"Summer." A deep familiar voice gave her goosebumps as she turned slowly. Her lips trembled and all of her self-restraint vanished as warm tears trickled down her face. Her father awkwardly embraced her. "I'm sorry I'm late."  
  
"That's ok, it's fine, it's fine." Summer repeated the phrase. "I'm just glad you're here now."  
  
Her father stepped back to study her at arms length. "You're all grown up." Sadness tinged his voice, and Summer understood that she and her father were more alike than she'd ever thought. He was running too, afraid to show his faults, scared of getting hurt again after her mother. She swallowed and introduced Seth to her father. The two shook hands and exchanged formalities.  
  
Seth looked at Summer. She continued to amaze him. She looked so happy right then, her father by her side - her skin positively radiated bliss.  
  
"Seth, I know that you escorted my daughter here tonight," Mr. Roberts spoke formally, "but I'd like to take her out for a daddy-daughter dessert."  
  
"Like when I was little?" Summer smiled hopefully.  
  
"Ice cream sundae, extra fudge, no cherry." Mr. Roberts remembered. Summer smiled.  
  
"Do you mind?" Summer turned to Seth.  
  
"'Course not," he replied.  
  
The three made their way out of the gala. Summer waved to Seth from the window of her father's sedan as he pulled out of the driveway. It wasn't until he was halfway home that he remembered that he'd never warned her about the literary magazine.  
  
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Anna shifted in her chair at the country club. She hated coming here for dinner. Her parents were extraordinarily boring and seemed desperate to suck up to everyone at the club. The only redeeming thing about being dragged to the club was the incredibly good French fries that accompanied her $22 hamburger.  
  
When Julie Cooper approached their table to chat with Mrs. Stern about the Havana Heaven fundraiser for literary awareness, Anna made an excuse to leave the table. She headed towards the ladies restroom, always a good hideaway at the club.  
  
She pushed open the door quietly and was surprised to hear the sound of someone crying in one of the stalls. "Hello?" she said timidly. "Are you ok?"  
  
The door to the stall swung open, and Marissa's tear-stained face greeted her. She was slouched against one of the walls. Anna stepped in and sat down next to her. "Are you ok?"  
  
"Anna." Marissa sniffled. "I'm so sorry for the way I've been acting towards you. I've just been horrible to everyone, you and Summer and Ryan." A few more tears trickled down her face. "I just feel so lost here; I don't belong anymore. You know," Marissa sat up and began tearing the tissue she held in her hands, "when I was away at rehab, that's the first time I really felt like myself. But coming back here - I don't know who I'm supposed to be. I'm two different daughters - one for my mom, one for my dad. I'm have two kinds of friendships - the real one with Summer, and the fake ones with people like Candace. And being with Ryan was just too much."  
  
Marissa stood. "I know that you like him." She bit down on the inside of cheek. "Just make him happy, ok?" Anna looked up at Marissa. "Make him feel the way that I never could." Marissa hurried out of the bathroom, leaving Anna standing in the middle of the floor, completely dumbstruck. 


	23. Cover Girl

A/N: This was a difficult chapter for me to write, especially Summer's discovery of the literary magazine. Also, please note that I have not studied Latin, so be gentle with my translation! Please read and review - I'm shooting for 100 reviews before the posting of chapter 26! Thanks for reading!  
  
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Mr. Robert's chauffeured sedan glided up to the front of Harbor High on Friday morning. Summer leaned in to give her father a hug before he left for another business trip. Normally she'd be upset that he was leaving again so soon, but the previous night had instilled in her a new confidence about their relationship.  
  
"Hold on just a minute." Mr. Roberts said as Summer opened one of the car doors. She turned and settled back in her seat.  
  
"They don't give these out anymore, but back when I won the Sebastian Fellowship, they used to award the winners a medal." Mr. Roberts spoke softly. "I thought you might like mine. He opened a small burgundy velvet box and withdrew a necklace. The nickel-sized medal was suspended from a delicate chain.  
  
Summer leaned forward silently as her father fastened the necklace around her. She pulled the medal out in front of her and looked at the intricately carved circle. "'Nota bene magnum opus." Summer read the tiny script etched around the edge of the medallion.  
  
"Latin." Mr. Roberts explained. "Mark this great work well." Mr. Roberts seemed embarrassed. "I hope you like it. I'll be back on Sunday morning. Enjoy the dance, sweetheart - make sure you get a picture of yourself in that dress."  
  
Summer nodded and smiled. She slid out of the car, shutting the door behind her. She waved, still clutching the medallion in her hand as the sedan slid back into the morning traffic.  
  
Summer headed into the school, practically skipping. Her relationship with her father seemed to have a new closeness to in, and she couldn't wait to share the good news with Seth. She vowed to make up with Marissa - it was the only thing that put a damper on her joy.  
  
When she reached the breakfast table, she was surprised to find it empty. She remembered that Ryan had mentioned an early soccer practice, but Seth and Anna should have been there. She pulled her bag over her shoulder. She'd try the lit mag room, she decided.  
  
Summer headed into the school. Self-consciously, she realized that people were looking at her. Summer was used to attention from her hormonally- driven male classmates, but the air had a heaviness to it that made her uneasy - a hush that resonated within her. She rounded the corner to the door of the lit mag and stopped quickly at the scene before her.  
  
Seth and Anna were posed in front of the doorway, boxes surrounding them. Each figure clutched a rolled-up magazine in one hand.  
  
"How could you add an author credit to the cover?" Seth yelled. "I specifically deleted it so it had an anonymous appeal!"  
  
"What are you talking about?" Anna seemed genuinely confused. "We never publish anonymous work! I though the missing credit was a computer error!"  
  
"No!" Seth rubbed his temples. "This piece was different."  
  
The argument lulled to a silence, and Summer stepped into the room.  
  
"Hi guys." Summer spoke hesitantly, unsure of the situation. Anna and Seth turned to look at her and she studied their faces. Anna's face was kind and laced with sympathetic sincerity. Seth could barely meet Summer's eyes. He gazed down at the magazine in his hands.  
  
Summer felt a chill running through her, a premonition of what was to come. She walked towards Seth slowly, holding her breath as she pulled the magazine from his hands and glanced down at the cover.  
  
"Rosemary for remembrance." Her lips formed the words and she spoke aloud without realizing that she'd said a word. Her sonnet. The sonnet. No. No. Her hands trembled as her mind ran through the words of the poem, emblazoned in white on a stark black cover. At the bottom of the page - her name, declaring her as the author. The air in the room seemed to constrict around her.  
  
"Oh, god, Summer, I thought you knew." Anna spoke hurriedly. "I never would have agreed to the publication if I knew you hadn't submitted it."  
  
Summer heard her as if through a fog. The magazine slipped out of her hands as she stood, turning her gaze up to Seth. He seemed as paralyzed as she.  
  
"Summer." He tripped over her name, speaking nervously. "I found it in your folder, that day you asked me to hold your books, and I don't know what I was thinking, I wasn't thinking, I just figured that a poem like that was too good for just English class, and I arranged for your name to be off the cover, it was supposed to be anonymous, but there was a mistake with the printing-"  
  
Summer raised her hand and Seth stopped talking abruptly. "It wasn't for English." She gasped, finding it harder and harder to breath in that room. "It's my mother, it's about my mother, how she died."  
  
Anna took in a sharp breath of air as Summer turned and ran from the room. Seth took off after her, but she was running with adrenaline as her survival instincts pushed her to escape as quickly as possible. He stood in the hallway, helpless, as he lost Summer to the crowds in the hallway.  
  
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Ryan threw his soccer equipment into the Range Rover and clicked the alarm on his set of keys to the car he shared with Seth. He looked up and saw a familiar petite brunette running towards him.  
  
"Summer?"  
  
"Ryan, oh thank god, will take me home?" Ryan looked down at the girl's face. She was pale, shaken, obviously upset. "Of course." He unlocked the Range Rover and helped her in. He started the car and began the drive to her home.  
  
"It's a left here," Summer spoke shakily. "Then it's just the fifth house on the right."  
  
"Sure." Ryan pulled the car into the driveway. "Summer." He looked concerned. "Are you ok?"  
  
Summer bit down on her lip and looked at Ryan's face. "It's Seth," she admitted. "I write these poems sometimes, and he found one and published it on the cover of the lit mag." Ryan shook his head slightly. "He thinks it was an assignment for English or something, but it was really about my mom." Summer took in a jagged breath. "Most people think my mom just ran off; I don't know how my dad managed to keep the gossip so contained. But a good portion of Newport knows the truth - my mom killed herself." She wiped the tears away from her eyes. It felt good to talk about it after so long, and she knew that Ryan could be trusted. "She had a minor operation to remove a benign tumor, and then she got addicted to the painkillers - same thing with my ex-stepmom," Summer noted ruefully. "My dad sent my mom to a rehabilitation center. They weren't like the one Marissa went to back then - this was closer to an insane asylum. And instead of getting better, my mom got worse. They found her in the swimming pool. She drowned herself." Summer felt numb. She wasn't crying anymore; her tone was emotionless, matter-of-fact.  
  
She unbuckled her seatbelt and closed the car door. As she opened the door to her house, she heard Ryan's door open.  
  
"Summer." He spoke in his raspy voice. "I'm not defending what Seth did - that kid has been known to have poor judgment - putting me in the model home, for instance. But I do know that Seth would never deliberately hurt anyone. Especially you."  
  
They looked at each other for a long moment, before Summer turned and stepped inside her house, closing the heavy oak door between them. 


	24. Say Anything: 2004 Edition

A/N: Obviously, I don't own any of the characters or the Death Cab For Cutie song lyrics within this chapter.  If you'd like to know what the song sounds like, you can listen to it at the band's website:   I also apologize for the weird formatting – italics doesn't post well here!

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Seth had felt sick all day.  He'd called Summer's house over and over again, but it was obvious after 6 hours of getting the busy signal that Summer had taken her phone off the hook.  He lay on the poolhouse couch, staring up at the ceiling as Ryan entered the room.

"Seth."  Ryan shook his head and looked down at him.  "What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't."  Seth moaned and rolled over to meet Ryan's disapproving eyes.  "I didn't even know her mother was-" he paused and corrected himself, "is dead.  I though she was in Europe or something.  And then I have to come back here and coax it out of my mom, who finally tells me about the suicide, the drowning."  He pulled a pillow up to his chest.  "How was I to know?  I had no idea."  

"Don't tell me."  Ryan turned and left the poolhouse.  

Seth sat on the edge of the bed.  Nothing had changed, he noted ruefully.  He had thought he'd made a new start in 2004, but this year was just the same as the last – screwing up and hurting Summer.  But maybe this time, he could fix his mistake.

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Summer pulled her hair back into a ponytail and straightened her flannel pajamas.  She'd been sleeping most of the day, and was now huddled up in her room.  She'd pulled in the television from the master bedroom and was watching a John Cusack movie marathon while eating a pint of chocolate ice cream.  She flicked the television off and went into her study.

She picked up one of the small photographs that cluttered a shelf.  Her mother smiled back at her, frozen within the silver Tiffany frame.  Summer quickly pushed the photograph back into it's place and ran her fingers over the spines of the books of the shelves.  She closed her eyes and stretched her arms over her head.

A gentle rolling of music startled her.

_"So this is the new year,_

_And I don't feel any different."_

Summer paused.  The music was vaguely familiar.

_"The clanking of crystal,_

_Explosions off in the distance."___

The music reverberated through her, a primal knowledge that pulled her towards the window.

_"So this is the new year,_

_And I have no resolutions."_

Seth Cohen stood on her front lawn, a stereo held over his head.

_"For self-assigned penance,_

_For problems with easy solutions."___

She opened the window.  Her eyes met his.  He had been crying too.

_  
"So everybody put your best suit or dress on_

_Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once_

_Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn_

_As thirty dialogues bleed into one."___

She looked at him and her eyes glazed over.  She recalled dancing with him on his sailboat, they way he'd looked at her with such admiration, how he told her that he loved her.

_"I wish the world was flat like the old days_

_Then I could travel just by folding a map_

_No more airplanes, or speed trains, or freeways_

_There'd be no distance that can hold us back."_

He felt the space between them and ached to hold her again, to apologize, to promise to never hurt her again, to let her know that she could trust him.

_"There'd be no distance that could hold us back."_

She wanted to run to him.

_"There'd be no distance that could hold us back."_

She closed the window and slid to the ground, alone in the empty house.

_"So this is the new year."_

_"So this is the new year."_

Seth looked up at the closed window, not breaking eye contact with the glass, willing her to appear again.

_"So this is the new year."_

_"So this is the new year."_

But she didn't.


	25. Loose Ends

Anna flinched when she saw Marissa walk into the Crab Snack. Anna had been eating a quiet lunch with Ryan, and was still a little weary about Marissa after their conversation in the country club bathroom.  
  
Marissa scanned the room and spotted them, striding over to their table.  
  
"Can I sit with you guys?"  
  
Ryan looked at Anna, and then nodded slowly as Marissa sank into a seat.  
  
"Listen." Marissa swallowed. "I just wanted to tell you guys how sorry I've been acting lately. I could give you a million reasons why, but I don't want to make excuses. All I know is that I need help, and I'm finally ready to admit it."  
  
Anna covered Marissa's hand with her own. "That's great, Marissa."  
  
Marissa looked at each of them. "My doctor thinks I should keep going to Harbor, to maintain some of my old life, but I'll be spending the next eight weekends at the center in San Diego. I know I fought my mom on this at first, but I think it might be a good idea. I want to feel good about myself again."  
  
Marissa paused and looked at each of them. "I really hope that we can all be friends." Her eyes said that she'd noticed the fondness they had for each other, and she had accepted the change.  
  
"Yeah." Ryan rasped, and then he smiled. "Of course."  
  
Marissa grinned.  
  
Anna passed a basket to Marissa.  
  
"French fry?"  
  
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When Summer's doorbell rang at 6:00 on Saturday night, she ignored it. After a few minutes it was clear that the person there wasn't going to go away. She quietly looked through the peephole, expecting to see Seth Cohen standing there. It wasn't him.  
  
Summer cracked the door open. "Marissa?"  
  
"Oh, Summer." Marissa's faced cracked with emotion. "I'm so sorry for the way I've been acting. Can I come in?"  
  
Summer nodded silently and held the door open, quizzically examining Marissa's outfit. The tall girl was dressed in a simple black sheath dress with pearls around her neck. A chignon hairstyle and long satin gloves completed the look. She was the spitting image of a young Audrey Hepburn.  
  
"Sum, I know you can stay mad at someone forever, but I'm begging you to forgive me. We've been best friends for so long - I just want you to know that I was wrong about everything. You've helped me so many times, and I just want you to know that you're so important to me." Marissa was right. Normally, Summer was capable of holding a grudge for years. But ever since New Year's Eve, her defenses had been way down. She hugged her friend.  
  
Marissa smiled at looked at Summer. "We have got to get you ready for the dance!"  
  
"Oh no!" Summer backed up and headed up the stairs to her bedroom. "I don't think so. There is no way that I'm going to that dance, alone, so everyone can laugh at me and my poem."  
  
"Listen up." Marissa up her hands on her hips and mimicked Summer. "You've convinced me to go to countless events with you, and now, you're going to return the favor. Besides, number one - you won't be going alone, you're going with me. And number two - no one is laughing at your poem."  
  
"Uh huh, sure." Summer responded. "Except that they totally are."  
  
"Sum, people loved that poem." Marissa spoke softly. "Except for a few people like Candace, who are too stupid to spell the word 'poem', the school was talking about how good it was - everyone is completely intrigued by you."  
  
Summer couldn't help but crack a smile. She loved causing people to wonder, and Marissa knew it.  
  
Summer pulled her dress out of the closet and began to change. She paused. "What about Seth?" She spoke aloud, questioning herself.  
  
Marissa walked toward her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Ryan's making him come. Just admit to yourself that you want to forgive him, and do it."  
  
Summer's eyes met Marissa's, and a corner of her mouth turned up in a smile. "You're going to have to help my with my hair," Summer said matter- of-factly.  
  
"That's what I'm here for."  
  
The two girls began to get Summer ready for the dance. As Marissa twisted the loose ends of her hair around hot rollers, Summer felt her stomach clench with excitement and nervousness at the idea of seeing Seth. She would not be afraid, she told herself as she looked at herself in the mirror, daring the real Summer to emerge at last. 


	26. For All Time

Seth could not believe he'd let Ryan talk him into this.  He leaned against the back wall of the Harbor High auditorium.  Usually these dances were at some country club, but this year's winter dance was actually at the school – a totally vintage move, he thought to himself sarcastically.  He fidgeted with his blue tie and leaned in to talk with Ryan and Anna.  Before he could speak, he saw Marissa Cooper speedily moving towards them.

"Hi guys."  She was friendly, but had a new calmness to her.  She had apologized to everyone, and now it was time to make things right.  Marissa realized now that Summer had been a great friend to her for so many years, and lately, the only thing Marissa had done was to focus on herself.  She hadn't known about any of Summer's projects, or read any of her poems, or been there as she'd fallen for Seth Cohen.  She felt a responsibility to her friend to reconnect Summer with Seth.  They'd had a long talk in the limousine, and Summer admitted that she still wanted to be with him.

"Seth."  Marissa tugged his arm.  "Can I talk with you for a minute?"  

"Sure."  Seth spoke glumly as Marissa pulled him to his feet and led him to the center of the room.  "Where are we going?"

"Just wait here," she instructed, heading off to the front of the room and disappearing behind a red velvet curtain that concealed the high school stage.

Seth stuck his hands in his pockets and looked around.  He hadn't seen Summer since his disastrous Say Anything homage the night before.  The look on her face had broken his heart.  What was he even doing here?  As he turned to leave, the lights dimmed and Ms. Kingsington's voice rang out through a microphone.  Seth turned back to face the stage, and his breath caught in his throat.

Ms. Kingsington, Seth's English teacher, began to speak as she introduced the two girls on the stage.  Vaguely, he heard Candace Merky's name, captain of cheer squad, secretary of the fashion club – rambling that faded into background noise as he looked at Summer.

Her chin trembled a bit, betraying her nervousness, but Summer was lovelier than she had even been before.  Summer's clothes had always driven the boys at school crazy with short skirts and tiny tank tops – sexy, fun clothes.  Her dress tonight was subtle, gliding along her curves, hinting at what lay beneath.

Candace, Seth noted with a quick glance, was poured into an electric blue Lycra dress – her pale blonde platinum hair straightened into razor-sharp edges.  He looked back at Summer, noting the small changes in her appearance.  The dress was cream tinged with a hint of rose, all fine lace that cinched in her wispy waist.  Her hair was free flowing – loose curls tumbled down her shoulders.  Tiny diamonds encircled her wrists, and an unusual necklace caught her notice.  Her mother's pearls, he remembered, but now a small medallion pendant was centered among the pearls.

Ms. Kingsington turned to Summer.  "Most of you were probably surprised by Summer's lovely sonnet on the cover of Harbor's literary magazine yesterday."  The teacher turned to Summer.  "You may not be aware of this, but many students were very moved by your work.  In fact, due to popular demand, I'll be teaching a seminar on the personal sonnet next semester." 

Summer gasped.  She had no idea that her poem would receive this sort of reaction.

In the midst of the crowd, Seth smiled to himself.  He should have figured.  Summer, always the trend-setter, had made sonnets cool.

"Since Marissa Cooper has withdrawn from the Winter Queen elections," Ms. Kingsington continued, "we shall now see which of these two ladies will have the honor of this title, as well as the privilege of choosing both the first song and her partner for the first dance."

From offstage, Marissa crossed her fingers.  She had dropped out of the competition to lend her full support to her friend.  C'mon, Summer, she thought urgently.

"Our 2004 Winter Queen is…" Ms. Kingsington opened a small silver envelope, enjoying the suspense before announcing the name.  "Miss Summer Roberts."

Summer paled, and then smiled graciously as Ms. Kingsington affixed a sparking tiara to her hair.  She shook her teacher's hand, and then made her way over to the D.J.  She whispered a title into his ear, and he shook his head knowingly before reaching into his private collection of CDs.

Summer returned to the stage and stood in front of the microphone.  Seth watched her carefully as she cleared her throat and touched the tiara hesitantly.

"Wow," she breathed.  "Thank you so much.  I'm truly surprised."  She bit her bottom lip for a moment, and then continued.  "The truth is, I didn't want to publish that poem at all.  In fact, I was terrified when I saw it on the cover of the lit mag.  But I guess everything happens for a reason."  She looked out at the crowd, and her eyes met Seth's.  She held his gaze steadily.  "I'm so lucky to have had someone who believed in me.  I just hope that he still does."  She smiled slightly and leaned into the microphone, a tremor in her voice.  "Seth Cohen, will you dance with me?"  

He smiled, and she smiled back.  Summer nodded at the D.J.

The strains of the song "Passenger Seat" by Death Cab for Cutie filled the room as Summer moved towards him as if in slow motion.  The crowds of teenagers stepped back and there was only Summer, sweeping towards him, a cloud of filmy chiffon and incomparable light.  The piano introduction to the song resonated through the auditorium.

_I roll the window down_

_And then begin to breathe in_

His arms went around her as she leaned against him, reaching up to slowly stroke his cheek before entangling her fingers in his dark hair.

_The darkest country road_

_And the strong scent of evergreen_

_From the passenger seat as you are driving me home._

They looked at each other, never breaking eye contact.  Seth felt her heart beating against his chest, and noted with wonderment that the rhythms matched perfectly.

_Then looking upwards_

_I strain my eyes and try_

_To tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites_

_From the passenger seat as you are driving me home._

They were flying now, feeling like the only people in the world.  Seth lifted Summer up so that her face was level with hers.  Only shooting stars here, he noted.  This was real, a natural phenomena, nothing made or forced, just a shiver that told him that this was right – they were meant to be together.

_'Do they collide?'_

_I ask and you smile._

_With my feet on the dash_

_The world doesn't matter._

Summer sang along with the song softly.  Seth smiled and continued, as they whispered the last few lines to each other.

  
_When you feel embarrassed then I'll be your pride_

_When you need directions then I'll be the guide_

_For all time._

He cupped her face gently and kissed her deeply.  Their lips met, confessing love and forgiveness, expressing hope for the future.  "I love you," Summer murmured, finally saying what she had been feeling for so long.  

A thrill went through Seth as he grinned.  "I love you."  They kissed again, holding each other tight, never wanting to let go.

_For all time.___

It was more than a song lyric, more than a New Year's resolution.  It was a promise.

_For all time._

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A/N: I hope everyone enjoyed the ending!  I don't own any of the characters or these DCFC lyrics.  "Passenger Seat" is a great, beautiful slow song – give it a listen if you're not familiar with it!  Unfortunately, that is the end of this story, but I am thinking of writing a S/S-based sequel.  Please leave reviews so I can incorporate your feedback into my new story.  Thanks again for reading!


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